Who's responsible for teaching sex ed?

Whose responsibility is it to teach our young people about sex?  Is it up to parents, who are often uncomfortable and sometimes unprepared to discuss this topic with their kids?  Is it the religious groups, who often exclude those topics with which they do not agree and may only discuss abstinence as the "right" choice?  Is it the responsibility of teachers, many of whom are also uncomfortable discussing sex with young people, and may be lacking enough information to really teach the subject?  Or should we skip sex ed all together and let kids learn from their friends and older siblings, or "figure it out for themselves"?

Sex is a part of life.  It's not something that can be ignored, hidden or avoided.  It's not something shameful and it's certainly not unnatural.  It's the reason we all exist (no storks around here!) and it's the most vital part of our survival as a species.  It is intertwined with many wonderful things ... love, laughter, pleasure, and fun.  It can also be used in negative ways ... manipulation, abuse, assault, victimization.

Sex can also be scary.  STIs are out there, and many of them are on the rise.  Rates of Chlamydia are continuing to rise, especially amongst young people 15-24 years old.  Gonorrhea is rising as well.  And syphilis, which had become very rare in Canada, increased by 62% from 2008 to 2009 (Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit, Public Health Ontario, 2010).

Anyone who engages in any "risky" sexual activity (e.g. unprotected vaginal or anal sex, unprotected oral sex, having multiple partners, sharing toys, etc) is at risk for STIs.  While some STIs are curable, many are not.  Herpes, for example, makes itself comfortable and stays for life.  It can be transmitted even when the person does not have any symptoms, and yes, if you have a cold sore and give your partner oral sex, they can get genital herpes!

Although I cannot speak as a parent, I can speak as an experienced Sexual Health Educator and as a Child and Youth Worker.  I can tell you that, regardless of what kind of sex ed they receive, some young people are going to have sex and others are not.  Handing a young person a condom is no more likely to make them have sex than handing someone $50 is going to make them go to the casino and gamble.  In fact, if the youth are educated - thoroughly, honestly, accurately - they are more likely to choose not to have sex.

Which brings me to my original question - whose responsibility is it to teach our children and youth about sex?  In my opinion, sex ed should be taught by those who are comfortable doing so, and who are prepared to be honest and frank with their audience.  Sexual health educators need to be confident and provide plenty of opportunity for the audience to engage with the information.  I can speak from experience when I say that, when presented with the opportunity to talk openly and ask questions, young people are eager to learn.

Sex ed isn't about telling people what they "should" or "shouldn't" do, or preaching about what's "right" and "wrong".  It's about presenting the information - the factual information - and letting people decide for themselves.  That's what Sex Ed Central is all about.  I talk to people about sex and offer the facts: STIs are out there, pregnancy can happen at any stage in a woman’s cycle, and to be unsure about your sexual orientation does not make you any less of a person.

If you're interested in this topic, check out my other posts, read this article or contact me.

Thanks for reading,

Candice