Life, Love and Changes

Well, folks, it’s been a while. Again. If you’ve read my blog regularly in the past, you might be wondering why I seem to have dropped off the planet in the past year. Trust me, some days I wonder the same.

Simply put, life has been busy ... But a “simple” answer just won’t do when you’ve been MIA for a year. So let’s look at what’s been happening, and where things are headed ...

Life: I’ve spent most of the last year working on “figuring out my life”. At some point not too long ago I realized I wasn’t happy with the direction my life was taking. So I moped, stewed and worried for a while. That didn’t help (surprise!), so I decided to take a different approach and try actually doing something about it. I made a few changes to the who, what, where, when and why dynamics of my life.

Guess what? It worked! Life is fantastic and, to be honest, I don’t really know how I could possibly feel happier than I do now. I'm sure I will, because things just get better every day, but I feel so good that I'm not sure how it's even possible ....

Career: Despite my dreams of making a full-time career out of all this sex stuff, that’s simply not realistic at the moment. While I could talk about sex ed for hours on end, I have yet to find someone to pay me large sums of money (or at least a liveable salary!) to talk incessantly about sex ed.

If you know someone who fits the above description, please send them my contact info! In the meantime, however, I’ve been putting a lot of work into building my career as a Child and Youth Worker (CYW). The more experience I gain, the more I feel that I made the right choice in becoming a CYW. It’s a skill set that comes naturally to me (much the way educating others about tough topics like sexuality comes naturally!). 
I enjoy working with children and youth, and I definitely like the challenge that comes with working with people.

Love: Yes, it’s true! I am head over heels, hopelessly in love. Not only that, but the man I’m hopelessly in love with is, without any shred of doubt, my life partner and soulmate. Before I met Paul, I had started to wonder if there was actually such thing as an “ideal partner” out there for me. While I was doing a great job of figuring out what I want, need and expect out of a partner, I wasn’t sure all those things could actually exist in one person. That’s until someone introduced me to Paul: his gaze met mine, and that was it ... we had fallen in love. Every day since has been better than the one before it, and we couldn't be more thrilled or excited about having found one another.

(More on this in a later post!)

Direction: Although love, career and home have all come together to create a great deal of happiness for me, there’s one thing I’m desperately lacking right now: direction for my business. I have so many great ideas -- workshops, lessons, programming -- and many great connections -- but I’m lacking a sense of clear direction as to where all of this is headed. Perhaps a simpler way of putting it would be to say that SexEd Central is experiencing growing pains. A big part of the lack of direction is that I simply don’t have time to “do it all” anymore. Establishing a business, creating curriculum and lessons, blogging regularly and updating content on the website are all time and energy consuming activities, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done AND live the rest of my life.

I would like to grow beyond the sole topic of “sex ed” and into more of a comprehensive, “health-focused” direction. I’ve developed and given workshops on other subjects, and I am sure there’s a way to tie it all together. Mental health, for example, is something that affects all of us but isn’t talked about nearly enough; I’d really like to do something about that.

This has plagued me for months, but there’s no point hiding it anymore. Instead, I’m putting a call out there for other like-minded, health-focused, friendly and outgoing people to reach out and connect with me. I am asking you to share your ideas, feedback, skills and talents with me; let’s collaborate to create something really awesome.

I am seeking people who can help me establish focus and direction for the business. I want to find people who want to get involved in many different ways: writing posts and content; developing workshops; facilitating lessons; establishing community partnerships; branding (establishing a logo and an image), and spreading the word are just a few items on my "to do" list.

If you've read this and are thinking "I could do that!" please let me know. Contact me today and let’s chat about what awesome things we can make happen by working together. This is a great time to get involved in doing something really unique and exciting, with lots of potential for growth and room for creativity.

I’m looking forward to connecting with you.

In the meantime, I'd better get back to that career-establishing stuff. I have to be in Kitchener soon for a physical demands test ... at which point, with any luck, I'll officially be a CYW for another school board. Woo hoo!!

Cheers to a FANTASTIC day!
Candice

Who's responsible for teaching sex ed?

Whose responsibility is it to teach our young people about sex?  Is it up to parents, who are often uncomfortable and sometimes unprepared to discuss this topic with their kids?  Is it the religious groups, who often exclude those topics with which they do not agree and may only discuss abstinence as the "right" choice?  Is it the responsibility of teachers, many of whom are also uncomfortable discussing sex with young people, and may be lacking enough information to really teach the subject?  Or should we skip sex ed all together and let kids learn from their friends and older siblings, or "figure it out for themselves"?

Sex is a part of life.  It's not something that can be ignored, hidden or avoided.  It's not something shameful and it's certainly not unnatural.  It's the reason we all exist (no storks around here!) and it's the most vital part of our survival as a species.  It is intertwined with many wonderful things ... love, laughter, pleasure, and fun.  It can also be used in negative ways ... manipulation, abuse, assault, victimization.

Sex can also be scary.  STIs are out there, and many of them are on the rise.  Rates of Chlamydia are continuing to rise, especially amongst young people 15-24 years old.  Gonorrhea is rising as well.  And syphilis, which had become very rare in Canada, increased by 62% from 2008 to 2009 (Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit, Public Health Ontario, 2010).

Anyone who engages in any "risky" sexual activity (e.g. unprotected vaginal or anal sex, unprotected oral sex, having multiple partners, sharing toys, etc) is at risk for STIs.  While some STIs are curable, many are not.  Herpes, for example, makes itself comfortable and stays for life.  It can be transmitted even when the person does not have any symptoms, and yes, if you have a cold sore and give your partner oral sex, they can get genital herpes!

Although I cannot speak as a parent, I can speak as an experienced Sexual Health Educator and as a Child and Youth Worker.  I can tell you that, regardless of what kind of sex ed they receive, some young people are going to have sex and others are not.  Handing a young person a condom is no more likely to make them have sex than handing someone $50 is going to make them go to the casino and gamble.  In fact, if the youth are educated - thoroughly, honestly, accurately - they are more likely to choose not to have sex.

Which brings me to my original question - whose responsibility is it to teach our children and youth about sex?  In my opinion, sex ed should be taught by those who are comfortable doing so, and who are prepared to be honest and frank with their audience.  Sexual health educators need to be confident and provide plenty of opportunity for the audience to engage with the information.  I can speak from experience when I say that, when presented with the opportunity to talk openly and ask questions, young people are eager to learn.

Sex ed isn't about telling people what they "should" or "shouldn't" do, or preaching about what's "right" and "wrong".  It's about presenting the information - the factual information - and letting people decide for themselves.  That's what Sex Ed Central is all about.  I talk to people about sex and offer the facts: STIs are out there, pregnancy can happen at any stage in a woman’s cycle, and to be unsure about your sexual orientation does not make you any less of a person.

If you're interested in this topic, check out my other posts, read this article or contact me.

Thanks for reading,

Candice

Pieces are falling into place ...

Well, things are crazy right now!  I have a few weeks left in the semester, so I am trying to get through the last of the tests and assignments while planning my workshop and working on this awesome website.

I have been neglecting the blog a bit over the past week, in favour of getting some "content" onto the site.  If you haven't already, check out my other pages ... About, Workshop, etc.

Check back often as this site continues to grow and, hopefully, flourish!  I can't wait to see what happens!