Heteronormativity

Heteronormativity ... it's a big word, and it isn't even listed in my wordpress dictionary, even though it's been around since 1991.  You may have heard of it, you may not have ... if you take a close look you can probably figure out what it means.  Let's break it down:

Hetero: as in heterosexual.  Y'know, Man + Woman.

Normativity: as in what's viewed as normal.  Y'know ... Man + Woman = "Normal"

Put more eloquently:

"Heteronormativity is any of a set of lifestyle norms that hold that people fall into distinct and complementary genders (man and woman) with natural roles in life. It also holds that heterosexuality is the normal sexual orientation, and states that sexual and marital relations are most (or only) fitting between a man and a woman. Consequently, a "heteronormative" view is one that involves alignment of biological sex, sexuality, gender identity, and gender roles.^{" (Wikipedia)}

Simply put, "heteronormativity" explains the way we straight people* assume that the way we are is "normal" and everyone else is not normal.  It helps us to paint a pretty little picture of the world, dividing it along lines of "him" and "her".  It tells us when we're behaving as expected, and it certainly helps us to raise the alarm when someone isn't following the rules.

[Note: This reference is to "straight people" *whose biological sex (male or female) + sexual orientation (heterosexual) + gender identity (man or woman) + gender roles (behaviour, clothing, preferences, etc as dictated by society) all line up into a pretty picture of congruence.]

So, what happens when someone doesn't follow the rules?  I can't tell you from first hand experience (I'm one of those straight people with the pretty picture of congruence).  However, I have many LGBT friends, and I know that for many of them, just being themselves in our heteronormative world is a challenge.  The male/female/him/her dichotomy rules our world.  Just look at the frenzy of attention received by a Toronto family who have chosen to withhold the gender of their youngest child, and raise the child as a "genderless" individual rather than as a "him" or a "her".  If you haven't heard about Storm, you can read a well-written article about the baby here.

The response to Storm has been as varied as the individuals reading the article.  Some are shocked and upset: “Never has an article left me so upset. These parents are turning their children into a bizarre lab experiment,” (ParentCentral.ca).  Others are embracing the family's efforts as a refreshing and progressive step towards acceptance:

“To the people who question it as a social experiment, I say that breaking social norms is not synonymous with bad parenting. Many modern practices were frowned upon as a social experiment once,” RyderJH commented on thestar.com, pointing to interracial friendships and teaching girls to read and have career ambitions as examples.
(Emphasis added, ParentCentral.ca)

So, what do you think?  Is this family on to something, taking a chance at raising their child in a progressive way, giving the child an opportunity to develop as an individual rather than a socially constructed "man" or "woman"?  Or are they setting their child(ren) up for countless problems down the road?

Leave your comments below, or send me a message.  I look forward to hearing from you!

- Candice :)