I am really, really happy with the new website. The new layout and new functionality has made it easier than ever for me to add content and expand the information and resources available throughout the site. As well, I am pleased to announce that my new mobile site is under development; I'll let you know when it's ready! All of my website work, including the mobile site, is thanks to Analyzed Marketing Solutions. Check them out to learn about all of the services they offer, including web development, mobile websites, QR codes, Google Places and Facebook Fan Pages!
You may have already noticed that I've added lots of new content to the site over the past few weeks. Education Central has really grown, and now features articles on various sex-related topics (e.g. relationships, sexual health, contraceptives and LGBTQ). I've also added links to some great videos, and the selection is expanding! If you're interested in some great reading on the topic of sexuality, check out my suggested reading page (also expanding!) -- and feel free to make suggestions of your own!
I have several great posts and articles in development so don't forget to subscribe to the mailing list by entering your email (to the right of this post on Sex Ed Central). We'll never send you spam or give away any of your info, and you'll receive an email every time I make a new blog post!
I'm looking forward to meeting your sex education needs!
Candice :)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Newsworthy Sex: Mistrial for young man who shot gay classmate
I’m currently working nights, which gives me ample time to peruse the internet for newsworthy sex and interesting articles to comment on. This post is the result of said perusal, and considering I wrote it at 3am on my iPhone, I think it has turned out pretty well. I’d also like to give credit to the app News360 for bringing my attention to so much great news. This particular post is about an article posted on "The Daily Mail" website; you can read the full article here.
The article is about the trial of a young man, (now) 17 year old Brandon McInerey. Three years ago, McInerey took a gun to school and shot 15 year old Larry King twice in the back of the head, in front of classmates. King was openly gay.
This appears to be a highly sensationalized trial. McInerey has been said to adopt a "white supremacist philosophy that sees homosexuality as an abomination" (The Daily Mail). He had previously been heard making death threats against the victim and is reported to have told a psychologist that he “wanted to kill Larry after he passed McInerey in a school hallway and said “What’s up, baby?”” (The Daily Mail).
There are many areas of this article and this devastating situation which I could pick apart, but there is one quotation which really jumped out at me:
Yes, the accused was clearly made uncomfortable by the victim's clothing/makeup/behaviour. That sucks, and I can see both sides ... On one hand, there’s a young man (King) who wanted to express himself and dress in a way that reflected who he was. This, for him, meant makeup, high heels and feminine clothing. On the other hand, there’s a young man (McInerey) who was uncomfortable with homosexuality (in general) and his peer (specifically). While I don't agree with homophobia in any way/shape/form, I accept that it often stems from fear and ignorance. As well, I believe that having a "gut reaction" (eg discomfort with King's clothing and makeup) is natural and that even wonderful and loving people are entitled to their squeamish feelings (it's what they do with those feelings that really counts).
What it comes down to, unfortunately, is simple: a young gay teen was shot in the back of the head by a peer, in a crime that appears to be motivated by homophobia and hate. That isn't the fault of the school administration. Hell, at least the admin was trying to protect King's civil rights. At least they were allowing him to express himself and to be himself. Many school admins are way over on the other end of the field, openly homophobic and doing whatever they can to push a homophobic agenda (such as quash GSAs (gay-straight alliances) and preventing gay kids from taking their partners to prom).
It's not the fault of the admin that McInerey was uncomfortable, or that he made threats, or that he brought a gun to school and shot King. The administration did their part, they stepped up and tried to do the progressive and accepting thing, and I think it’s unreasonable and unfair to try to shift the blame for this killing to them.
I'm not saying that anyone - victim included - is completely innocent. I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what happened ... but I think it must be acknowledged that McInerey told the psychologist that he wanted to kill King after King said "What's up baby?" to him. (I'm also wondering ... what did the psychologist do with this information?) It seems, from the information I have, that King knew McInerey was uncomfortable around him, and this statement could be seen as an effort to increase that discomfort. Sexual harassment goes in every direction.
I repeat - and please don't misunderstand what I'm saying - I am not condoning what happened or any of the homophobia running wild in this case. But we need to look at the whole situation, including King’s actions and the role they may have played in triggering McInerey to "snap".
Honestly, I don't have much of an opinion about the issue mistrial in this case. It seems to be a matter of deciding whether to convict him of manslaughter or murder, and if murder, what degree. Yes, it was premeditated. Clearly McInerey felt provoked, and I repeat, there is absolutely no excuse for what he did. There had been ongoing issues between the boys which may or may not have been addressed (perhaps this is a failure on the part of the administration?). Regardless, a young man was murdered by a schoolmate who was homophobic and dealt with his anger at his peer by shooting him in the head.
And that's very sad. :(
Thoughts?
The article is about the trial of a young man, (now) 17 year old Brandon McInerey. Three years ago, McInerey took a gun to school and shot 15 year old Larry King twice in the back of the head, in front of classmates. King was openly gay.
This appears to be a highly sensationalized trial. McInerey has been said to adopt a "white supremacist philosophy that sees homosexuality as an abomination" (The Daily Mail). He had previously been heard making death threats against the victim and is reported to have told a psychologist that he “wanted to kill Larry after he passed McInerey in a school hallway and said “What’s up, baby?”” (The Daily Mail).
There are many areas of this article and this devastating situation which I could pick apart, but there is one quotation which really jumped out at me:
"The school administration was accused of being more concerned about defending Larry’s civil rights than recognizing his behaviour and clothes.
His high heels, makeup and feminine clothing made other students uncomfortable." (The Daily Mail)
Yes, the accused was clearly made uncomfortable by the victim's clothing/makeup/behaviour. That sucks, and I can see both sides ... On one hand, there’s a young man (King) who wanted to express himself and dress in a way that reflected who he was. This, for him, meant makeup, high heels and feminine clothing. On the other hand, there’s a young man (McInerey) who was uncomfortable with homosexuality (in general) and his peer (specifically). While I don't agree with homophobia in any way/shape/form, I accept that it often stems from fear and ignorance. As well, I believe that having a "gut reaction" (eg discomfort with King's clothing and makeup) is natural and that even wonderful and loving people are entitled to their squeamish feelings (it's what they do with those feelings that really counts).
What it comes down to, unfortunately, is simple: a young gay teen was shot in the back of the head by a peer, in a crime that appears to be motivated by homophobia and hate. That isn't the fault of the school administration. Hell, at least the admin was trying to protect King's civil rights. At least they were allowing him to express himself and to be himself. Many school admins are way over on the other end of the field, openly homophobic and doing whatever they can to push a homophobic agenda (such as quash GSAs (gay-straight alliances) and preventing gay kids from taking their partners to prom).
It's not the fault of the admin that McInerey was uncomfortable, or that he made threats, or that he brought a gun to school and shot King. The administration did their part, they stepped up and tried to do the progressive and accepting thing, and I think it’s unreasonable and unfair to try to shift the blame for this killing to them.
I'm not saying that anyone - victim included - is completely innocent. I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what happened ... but I think it must be acknowledged that McInerey told the psychologist that he wanted to kill King after King said "What's up baby?" to him. (I'm also wondering ... what did the psychologist do with this information?) It seems, from the information I have, that King knew McInerey was uncomfortable around him, and this statement could be seen as an effort to increase that discomfort. Sexual harassment goes in every direction.
I repeat - and please don't misunderstand what I'm saying - I am not condoning what happened or any of the homophobia running wild in this case. But we need to look at the whole situation, including King’s actions and the role they may have played in triggering McInerey to "snap".
Honestly, I don't have much of an opinion about the issue mistrial in this case. It seems to be a matter of deciding whether to convict him of manslaughter or murder, and if murder, what degree. Yes, it was premeditated. Clearly McInerey felt provoked, and I repeat, there is absolutely no excuse for what he did. There had been ongoing issues between the boys which may or may not have been addressed (perhaps this is a failure on the part of the administration?). Regardless, a young man was murdered by a schoolmate who was homophobic and dealt with his anger at his peer by shooting him in the head.
And that's very sad. :(
Thoughts?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Threesome anyone?
I've said before - I am an avid Savage Love reader; I read the column every Wednesday and I peruse the Savage Love Letter of the Day app on my iPhone on a near-daily basis. Today I came across this letter, which fits in nicely with some of the other posts I've made about nonmonogamy and open relationships.
Disclaimer: I didn't write any of this -- it's entirely copied and pasted from the original Savage Love letter. The first box is the initial letter to Dan, and the second is Dan's response. Enjoy!
[box]
A Successful Threesome
I am a straight woman who has been in a monogamous relationship with the same man for almost five years. He's absolutely gorgeous, and he's British, and he makes a decent living, so I've always known he wouldn't have trouble attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex, for that matter!). I, on the other hand, while admittedly pretty, am not exactly a knockout like he is. It's taken some work to get over my insecurities about that, but I've long been confident that he's really into me, so now that's a non-issue.
Three months ago my boyfriend confessed that he wanted to have a FFM threesome. At first I was horrified at the idea. He wanted to fuck other women. He wanted to act on the impulse to fuck other women. What if he wanted someone prettier than me? What if she was better in bed than me? How could be have a functioning relationship if we had sex with another person? Wouldn't it demean our own sexual relations, become a black cloud hanging over the rest of our relationship?
Then I took a deep breath and remembered your column. I remembered what you had to say about men and women and desires and your own experiences with threesomes. I came to realize two more things.
First of all, if he wanted to fuck other women, he could have done that and not told me; he had come to me to tell me that while he wanted to fuck another woman, he wanted to fuck another woman with me. If we worked hard to be honest about our feelings and communicate our needs and insecurities, this could turn into a another thing that we did together. In fact, if we focused on communication, honesty, and trust having a threesome could possibly strengthen our relationship.
Second of all, I realized that even if this wasn't my favorite fantasy—or even a fantasy of mine at all—I could still make my pleasure a priority. I consider myself to be straight (as in I'd never wanted to have sex with a woman before and probably could never sustain a romantic relationship with another woman) but lesbian porn (well done lesbian porn) could get me off. If my boyfriend wanted to have sex with another woman, and wanted me to be there, then I could use this as an opportunity to try something intriguing and new. This didn't need to be just about him having sex with another woman—it could be about both of us having sex with another woman.
So I agreed to a threesome with some ground rules. I wanted us to find a woman to have sex with together. I wanted her to be bisexual; I didn't want to have a threesome with another straight girl, and I wasn't sure if a lesbian would have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to be a part of the threesome at all times, which meant that we had to discuss what would happen if he and she began to do something (coming up with ideas beforehand was incredibly helpful). Most of all, I did not want my boyfriend to have penetrative sex with the woman—no vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Plus, I wanted us to be open to having a MMF threesome sometime down the road. Setting these boundaries help me feel as if I had control of the situation; my boyfriend's agreement to comply with my ground rules proved to me how much he loved me and wanted me to.
We decided, pretty quickly, to hire a woman to have a threesome with us. After a little bit of searching we found—and agreed upon—a local bisexual escort. She was quite lovely, and she advertised that she had experience with threesomes, so I felt like she'd focus on both of us, and not just him, which was my biggest fear.
We rented a lovely room at a posh hotel. We made reservations for the two of us to have dinner after the threesome—we gave the threesome a time period of about three hours. And then the day came, the woman arrived at our hotel room, and my boyfriend and I had a wonderful time together. We staid attentive to each others needs, the escort did a good job of showing interest in both of us, and the sex was great. Now we've agreed to make this a yearly tradition for us, possibly with the same woman.
Better yet, this whole experience strengthened our relationship. We're now closer than ever, and the memory of the threesome is not some black cloud hanging over us every time we kiss or hug or have sex. In fact, remembering the threesome together gets us both pretty hot, and before we know it we're having more fantastic sex.
I decided to write you this ridiculously long email (which I have no idea if you'll even read, I know you get a lot) because, if I didn't read your column, and if I had never heard your humorous, matter-of-fact sex advice, I wouldn't have been able to have a threesome with my boyfriend. (On another note: I'd probably still feel like a freak for being a woman who loves watching porn, both alone and with her boyfriend.) Your column and your writing helped give me the smarts and the confidence to be (and enjoy being) a GGG girlfriend. I can't put into words how thankful I am that I began reading your column several years ago, or how thankful I am that you take the time and effort to write your column, because it (and you) help so many people become better, happier versions of themselves. I am so happy in my relationship with my boyfriend right now, Dan, and while it's largely thanks to us I know your column has played a part in bettering our relationship too.
Sincerely,
Grateful Gushing Girlfriend
[/box]
[box]
Thanks for sharing, GGG, and congratulations. It sounds like you two did absolutely everything right: you hashed out all the details, you set ground rules advance, and you hired a pro instead of waiting years for an unattached bi girl/unicorn to come along. I'm posting your entire letter to the blog, long though it is, because people rarely hear from committed couples who've had successful FFM MMF threesomes. Lots of people are convinced that threesomes destroy relationships because the only threesomes they ever hear about are the disasters, i.e. the ones that came immediately before a breakup, threesomes that are rightly or wrongly blamed for a breakup that was probably coming anyway. And since most people in stable relationships want to be perceived as monogamous even when they're not, people aren't generally aware of all the threesomes their presumed-to-be-monogamous friends have had.
Thanks again for sharing.
originally posted on 16 MARCH, 2010
[/box]
Disclaimer: I didn't write any of this -- it's entirely copied and pasted from the original Savage Love letter. The first box is the initial letter to Dan, and the second is Dan's response. Enjoy!
[box]
A Successful Threesome
I am a straight woman who has been in a monogamous relationship with the same man for almost five years. He's absolutely gorgeous, and he's British, and he makes a decent living, so I've always known he wouldn't have trouble attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex, for that matter!). I, on the other hand, while admittedly pretty, am not exactly a knockout like he is. It's taken some work to get over my insecurities about that, but I've long been confident that he's really into me, so now that's a non-issue.
Three months ago my boyfriend confessed that he wanted to have a FFM threesome. At first I was horrified at the idea. He wanted to fuck other women. He wanted to act on the impulse to fuck other women. What if he wanted someone prettier than me? What if she was better in bed than me? How could be have a functioning relationship if we had sex with another person? Wouldn't it demean our own sexual relations, become a black cloud hanging over the rest of our relationship?
Then I took a deep breath and remembered your column. I remembered what you had to say about men and women and desires and your own experiences with threesomes. I came to realize two more things.
First of all, if he wanted to fuck other women, he could have done that and not told me; he had come to me to tell me that while he wanted to fuck another woman, he wanted to fuck another woman with me. If we worked hard to be honest about our feelings and communicate our needs and insecurities, this could turn into a another thing that we did together. In fact, if we focused on communication, honesty, and trust having a threesome could possibly strengthen our relationship.
Second of all, I realized that even if this wasn't my favorite fantasy—or even a fantasy of mine at all—I could still make my pleasure a priority. I consider myself to be straight (as in I'd never wanted to have sex with a woman before and probably could never sustain a romantic relationship with another woman) but lesbian porn (well done lesbian porn) could get me off. If my boyfriend wanted to have sex with another woman, and wanted me to be there, then I could use this as an opportunity to try something intriguing and new. This didn't need to be just about him having sex with another woman—it could be about both of us having sex with another woman.
So I agreed to a threesome with some ground rules. I wanted us to find a woman to have sex with together. I wanted her to be bisexual; I didn't want to have a threesome with another straight girl, and I wasn't sure if a lesbian would have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to be a part of the threesome at all times, which meant that we had to discuss what would happen if he and she began to do something (coming up with ideas beforehand was incredibly helpful). Most of all, I did not want my boyfriend to have penetrative sex with the woman—no vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Plus, I wanted us to be open to having a MMF threesome sometime down the road. Setting these boundaries help me feel as if I had control of the situation; my boyfriend's agreement to comply with my ground rules proved to me how much he loved me and wanted me to.
We decided, pretty quickly, to hire a woman to have a threesome with us. After a little bit of searching we found—and agreed upon—a local bisexual escort. She was quite lovely, and she advertised that she had experience with threesomes, so I felt like she'd focus on both of us, and not just him, which was my biggest fear.
We rented a lovely room at a posh hotel. We made reservations for the two of us to have dinner after the threesome—we gave the threesome a time period of about three hours. And then the day came, the woman arrived at our hotel room, and my boyfriend and I had a wonderful time together. We staid attentive to each others needs, the escort did a good job of showing interest in both of us, and the sex was great. Now we've agreed to make this a yearly tradition for us, possibly with the same woman.
Better yet, this whole experience strengthened our relationship. We're now closer than ever, and the memory of the threesome is not some black cloud hanging over us every time we kiss or hug or have sex. In fact, remembering the threesome together gets us both pretty hot, and before we know it we're having more fantastic sex.
I decided to write you this ridiculously long email (which I have no idea if you'll even read, I know you get a lot) because, if I didn't read your column, and if I had never heard your humorous, matter-of-fact sex advice, I wouldn't have been able to have a threesome with my boyfriend. (On another note: I'd probably still feel like a freak for being a woman who loves watching porn, both alone and with her boyfriend.) Your column and your writing helped give me the smarts and the confidence to be (and enjoy being) a GGG girlfriend. I can't put into words how thankful I am that I began reading your column several years ago, or how thankful I am that you take the time and effort to write your column, because it (and you) help so many people become better, happier versions of themselves. I am so happy in my relationship with my boyfriend right now, Dan, and while it's largely thanks to us I know your column has played a part in bettering our relationship too.
Sincerely,
Grateful Gushing Girlfriend
[/box]
[box]
Thanks for sharing, GGG, and congratulations. It sounds like you two did absolutely everything right: you hashed out all the details, you set ground rules advance, and you hired a pro instead of waiting years for an unattached bi girl/unicorn to come along. I'm posting your entire letter to the blog, long though it is, because people rarely hear from committed couples who've had successful FFM MMF threesomes. Lots of people are convinced that threesomes destroy relationships because the only threesomes they ever hear about are the disasters, i.e. the ones that came immediately before a breakup, threesomes that are rightly or wrongly blamed for a breakup that was probably coming anyway. And since most people in stable relationships want to be perceived as monogamous even when they're not, people aren't generally aware of all the threesomes their presumed-to-be-monogamous friends have had.
Thanks again for sharing.
originally posted on 16 MARCH, 2010
[/box]
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Professional "pimping" ...
One thing I have learned from working independently in the sexuality field is that networking is absolutely essential. I do it all the time. In fact, I'd say I am shameless when it comes to "pimping myself out" to other professionals and potential contacts.
Prime example: my partner recently sold his iPod off of Kijiji; the purchaser was friendly and told us that he is a high school teacher. I asked what the sex ed programming is like where he works and within seconds had given him both of my business cards and told him a bit about what I do.
Like I said -- shameless.
I've found LinkedIn to be another great source of like-minded contacts. There aren't too many of us (relative to the overall population) -- but we sexuality educators find ways of connecting and sharing info and ideas and I've recently joined a LinkedIn group to do just that.
The BEST networking method I've found so far? Volunteering. Without a doubt. I have met more professionals and made more connections through volunteering than any other way. I think it's because when I'm volunteering for something, I'm engaged and I'm showing just how passionate I am about the cause and about what I do. Now that I've settled into life in Cambridge, I've signed up to volunteer at ACCKWA - The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and Area. You should check them out!
Anyway, I'd better get back to my shameless self-promotion ... :)
- Candice
Prime example: my partner recently sold his iPod off of Kijiji; the purchaser was friendly and told us that he is a high school teacher. I asked what the sex ed programming is like where he works and within seconds had given him both of my business cards and told him a bit about what I do.
Like I said -- shameless.
I've found LinkedIn to be another great source of like-minded contacts. There aren't too many of us (relative to the overall population) -- but we sexuality educators find ways of connecting and sharing info and ideas and I've recently joined a LinkedIn group to do just that.
The BEST networking method I've found so far? Volunteering. Without a doubt. I have met more professionals and made more connections through volunteering than any other way. I think it's because when I'm volunteering for something, I'm engaged and I'm showing just how passionate I am about the cause and about what I do. Now that I've settled into life in Cambridge, I've signed up to volunteer at ACCKWA - The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and Area. You should check them out!
Anyway, I'd better get back to my shameless self-promotion ... :)
- Candice
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
How many HIV infections will it take?
News has recently emerged that yet another performer in the adult entertainment (aka porn) industry has tested HIV+. As a result, porn production in Southern California has been put on hold, while the person undergoes re-testing to confirm the diagnosis. A similar shut down took place late last year, when porn actor Derrick Burts tested HIV+.
Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Sex sells, and adult entertainment offers lucrative opportunities for performers. As a society, we really like porn ... there wouldn't be so much money to be had if we didn't! So why isn't this industry more heavily regulated? Why isn't safer sex -- aka condom use -- a fully enforced requirement for all porn production?
As long as the demand is there, people are going to continue to work in the industry. How many HIV infections will it take before we put the same value on health and safety in the porn industry as we do in other workplaces?
HIV tests look for HIV antibodies in the blood. It usually takes about three to six months before the body produces enough HIV antibodies to be detected in testing. That means that a person will be infected for at least three to six months before they know about the infection. In the case of adult performers, that's three to six months of unprotected sex -- three to six months of infecting other people with HIV without knowing it.
A few facts about HIV:
Sources:
ACCKWA - The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and Area
ACT - The AIDS Committee of Toronto
The Huffington Post -Porn Shutdown over HIV Test
Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Sex sells, and adult entertainment offers lucrative opportunities for performers. As a society, we really like porn ... there wouldn't be so much money to be had if we didn't! So why isn't this industry more heavily regulated? Why isn't safer sex -- aka condom use -- a fully enforced requirement for all porn production?
As long as the demand is there, people are going to continue to work in the industry. How many HIV infections will it take before we put the same value on health and safety in the porn industry as we do in other workplaces?
HIV tests look for HIV antibodies in the blood. It usually takes about three to six months before the body produces enough HIV antibodies to be detected in testing. That means that a person will be infected for at least three to six months before they know about the infection. In the case of adult performers, that's three to six months of unprotected sex -- three to six months of infecting other people with HIV without knowing it.A few facts about HIV:
- The Face of AIDS is changing. Once labelled ‘the gay disease’, the majority of new HIV infections around the world are through heterosexual contact.
- You can’t contract HIV from hugging, touching, kissing or loving a person who has HIV/AIDS. Only blood, seminal & vaginal fluids and breastmilk have been proven to transmit the virus.
- Anyone can be infected by HIV no matter their age, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion or ethnic origin.
- There is no cure for HIV or AIDS.
- People are most often infected by acts of unprotected sex, sharing needles and pregnancies where the mother is infected with the virus.
Sources:
ACCKWA - The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and Area
ACT - The AIDS Committee of Toronto
The Huffington Post -Porn Shutdown over HIV Test
Monday, August 22, 2011
Lingerie for little girls? Yikes!
A company in France has recently released a new line of lingerie ... for girls as young as 4 years old (as well as swimwear for girls as young as 3 months). The new line has been dubbed "loungerie" and includes ruffled panties, bras and camisoles for young girls. The advertising photos being used to market these products depicts young girls with adult-like hair and makeup, in some very adult poses.
The launch of this line of undergarments for children has generated quite a stir ... and I have to say I really understand why that's the case ...
First of all, what 4 year old (or even 8, 9, 10 or 11 year old) needs lacy underwear and midriff-revealing camisoles? Children are not mini-adults ... they don't have the developmental capacity to cope with the world as we (adults) construct it for ourselves. Childhood is a time for development ... a time for playing and learning about yourself and the world around you. A child's experience is already so heavily impacted by the society they live in, and I don't see any need to add on the burden of adult-like sexuality to this already fragile and complex stage of life.
Secondly, what is going on in the minds of the parents who are buying these items for their children? What parent really wants their child parading around wearing adult-like lingerie? I do not understand where the market for this kind of product comes from and it upsets me to think that parents might decide that their 4 year old should be wearing these items. Children grow up so quickly as it is ... do we need to make it even faster?
And thirdly, I'm horrified by the sexualized images of little girls that are now widely available across the internet as a result of the marketing of these products. Isn't it just asking for more issues around child pornography? Anyone can get their hands on these pictures and once they're posted, and they are going to exist in cyber space for as long as cyber space exists. I shudder to think about the potential for damage this holds.
For the most part, I consider myself to be fairly liberal-minded. I try to keep an open mind, even when I have an initial gut reaction to something. However, this is going too far. I don't believe in ignoring the reality that children are sexual beings, just like the rest of us ... but this goes way beyond acknowledging and communicating with children about sex. This leaps from appropriate education and conversation to dressing up children in sexy "loungerie" and plastering images of young girls in sexual poses on the internet and in magazines ... it's telling little kids that they need to wear sexy underwear, reveal their bodies to the world, and contend with the horrors of self-esteem and a sexualized body image at a VERY young age.
I've pasted in a link to the video where I first learned about this new venture, as well as an additional site with a number of additional photos and info. If you want to do more research for yourself, simply search "Jours Après Lunes".
Please take a look at the posted research for yourself, and I'd love your feedback.
ABC News Video:
Additional website:
Oh No They Didn't! - Jours Après Lunes Launches 'Loungerie' Line for Girls and Hears About It.
Don't forget to leave a comment and please share with your friends!!!
The launch of this line of undergarments for children has generated quite a stir ... and I have to say I really understand why that's the case ...
First of all, what 4 year old (or even 8, 9, 10 or 11 year old) needs lacy underwear and midriff-revealing camisoles? Children are not mini-adults ... they don't have the developmental capacity to cope with the world as we (adults) construct it for ourselves. Childhood is a time for development ... a time for playing and learning about yourself and the world around you. A child's experience is already so heavily impacted by the society they live in, and I don't see any need to add on the burden of adult-like sexuality to this already fragile and complex stage of life.
Secondly, what is going on in the minds of the parents who are buying these items for their children? What parent really wants their child parading around wearing adult-like lingerie? I do not understand where the market for this kind of product comes from and it upsets me to think that parents might decide that their 4 year old should be wearing these items. Children grow up so quickly as it is ... do we need to make it even faster?
And thirdly, I'm horrified by the sexualized images of little girls that are now widely available across the internet as a result of the marketing of these products. Isn't it just asking for more issues around child pornography? Anyone can get their hands on these pictures and once they're posted, and they are going to exist in cyber space for as long as cyber space exists. I shudder to think about the potential for damage this holds.
For the most part, I consider myself to be fairly liberal-minded. I try to keep an open mind, even when I have an initial gut reaction to something. However, this is going too far. I don't believe in ignoring the reality that children are sexual beings, just like the rest of us ... but this goes way beyond acknowledging and communicating with children about sex. This leaps from appropriate education and conversation to dressing up children in sexy "loungerie" and plastering images of young girls in sexual poses on the internet and in magazines ... it's telling little kids that they need to wear sexy underwear, reveal their bodies to the world, and contend with the horrors of self-esteem and a sexualized body image at a VERY young age.
I've pasted in a link to the video where I first learned about this new venture, as well as an additional site with a number of additional photos and info. If you want to do more research for yourself, simply search "Jours Après Lunes".
Please take a look at the posted research for yourself, and I'd love your feedback.
ABC News Video:
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Oh No They Didn't! - Jours Après Lunes Launches 'Loungerie' Line for Girls and Hears About It.
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Friday, August 5, 2011
Why Women Cheat
Disclaimer: This article is only partially about sex; more than anything, it's about relationships and why some people seek connections with people outside of their relationships. Please do not misunderstand -- the subject matter of this article is COMPLETELY SEPARATE from the articles I've published about nonmonogamy / open relationships / monogamish relationships (etc). This is about actual "down and dirty" cheating ... specifically, women seeking to cheat on their husbands.
In the article, the author "goes undercover" on AshleyMadison.com to try to find out why women cheat. With the knowledge and consent of his wife, he creates profiles, talks to women, meets them in person and integrates his "interview" questions into their casual conversations. The article is well-written and I think it gives some great insight into why some women seek connections with others, outside of their marriages/relationships.
Happy reading! :)
"Honey, I have to join Ashley Madison."
So began the pitch I gave my wife to let me join the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website, AshleyMadison.com. It would be part of my research into women who cheat, why infidelity is increasing, and what can be done to possibly affair-proof a marriage. I proposed to "cheat" on her for a few weeks, to talk to and attempt to seduce as many women as possible, and get a real-world understanding of why women want to stay married but also need some illicit action on the side.
Read the rest of the article here
In the article, the author "goes undercover" on AshleyMadison.com to try to find out why women cheat. With the knowledge and consent of his wife, he creates profiles, talks to women, meets them in person and integrates his "interview" questions into their casual conversations. The article is well-written and I think it gives some great insight into why some women seek connections with others, outside of their marriages/relationships.
Happy reading! :)
"Honey, I have to join Ashley Madison."
So began the pitch I gave my wife to let me join the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website, AshleyMadison.com. It would be part of my research into women who cheat, why infidelity is increasing, and what can be done to possibly affair-proof a marriage. I proposed to "cheat" on her for a few weeks, to talk to and attempt to seduce as many women as possible, and get a real-world understanding of why women want to stay married but also need some illicit action on the side.
Read the rest of the article here
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