Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

World Autism Awareness Day

Today is the sixth annual World Autism Awareness Day. Autism organizations around the world are celebrating with many unique awareness-raising and fundraising events, and individuals are showing their support by wearing blue today.World Autism Awareness Day

Although SexEd Central is not an autism organization, we're still celebrating World Autism Awareness Day today! After all, people with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Asperger's Syndrome (AS) are sexual beings, just like everyone else. They deserve to be treated with the same respect, equality and fairness as everyone else. Relevant, practical and applicable sexuality education is a huge part of that respect, equality and fairness.

What better day to tell you about the new workshops currently under development! Here's what you can look forward to in the very near future ...

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Workshops for Parents, Caregivers, Foster Parents and Support Staff

This interactive workshop aims to provide parents, caregivers and support staff with the knowledge, comfort and skills they need to effectively support individuals with AS and ASD. Because sexuality is a normal, healthy part of the development of every human being, it's essential that caregivers and support persons have an understanding and awareness of sexuality and sexual behaviour in relation to persons with ASD and AS.


Participants in this workshop will:

  • Enhance their knowledge and understanding of sexuality and sexuality education

  • Gain an understanding of the unique sexuality education needs of people with AS and ASD

  • Develop the skills and comfort necessary to effectively communicate with others about sexuality and sexual behaviour

  • Learn practical and effective strategies to understand and respond to inappropriate sexual behaviours


Participants will also be provided with a variety of resource materials to further enhance their knowledge, skills and effectiveness.

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Workshops for Children, Youth and Adults with AS and ASD

Participants in this workshop series will gain both knowledge and practical skills in relation to sexuality and sexual behaviour. Because the learning needs of people with AS and ASD differ from those of the neurotypical population, each lesson and all activities will be tailored to the particular workshop audience. The primary goal of this workshop is to equip participants with the information, motivation and behavioural skills they need to be healthy, happy and safe.

Topics in this workshop series may include:

  • Puberty: understanding the whats, whys and how to cope

  • Communication

  • Love and friendship

  • Physiological aspects of sexuality

  • Sexual relations and other sexual behaviours

  • Emotions

  • Contraception and pregnancy prevention

  • STIs, HIV and prevention

  • Sexual orientation

  • Alcohol, drugs and sexuality

  • Sexual abuse and inappropriate sexual behaviours

  • Sexism and violence in romantic relationships

  • Managing emotions, theory of mind and intimacy


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These new workshops are VERY exciting and represent a major step forward in the resources and workshops offered here at SexEd Central! If you would like further information or to set up a consultation, please do not hesitate to contact me (Candice) directly.

Stay tuned in the coming months as we continue to grow!

Candice :)

Friday, January 25, 2013

It's All About Sex

It's no secret that 2012 was a bit of a struggle for me. One of the difficulties I continually ran into was a lack of content for my blog. I simply didn't want to write, and when I did want to write, I didn't know what to write about. It wasn't "flowing" the way writing always has for me. This quickly became a debilitating and frustrating cycle, and eventually, I pushed posting to the back of my mind.

[caption id="attachment_3176" align="alignright" width="216"]"Don't shush your inner voice. It's who you really are." Source: www.soulseeds.com[/caption]

Since then I've realized that one of the key issues was that I was holding myself back -- telling myself that everything I wrote had to be about sex, sex ed, sexuality ... and I felt very limited and uninspired. I mean, sex is a fantastic topic, but I'll be the first to admit that there's more to life!

The more I engaged in reflection and redefining my goals, however, the more I realized that sexuality is as much a part of day-to-day life as eating and breathing. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that our entire day-to-day lives are (or should be) consumed by sex ... we'd never get anything done! And I'm also not saying that every person is/should be highly sexual.

What I mean is that sexuality - our sexual energy / sexual self - is ingrained into how we interact with and see ourselves, others and the world in general.

Does that make sense?

I'll use myself as an example. Through my self-reflection have realized that, among other things, my energy / essence is very sensual and flirtatious. I thrive off of positive interactions with others, no matter who the other person is. This doesn't mean that I'm having sex with every person I meet (wow, that would be exhausting, not to mention dangerous!). It does, however, mean that my energy - my essence - is part of every interaction with others. And sex is a major part of my energy. This helps explain why people have always been drawn to me and why I've never had trouble finding a lover, should I want one. I'm not saying that's all there is to it, but I definitely feel that my energy has had a lot to do with my interpersonal interactions.

The point of this post is to say that I will be writing about more than overtly obvious sex this year. I believe that, if you look closely enough, you will see the energies of life behind every experience. And quite often there will be a sexual component to those energies.

So in the end, it's all about sex. ;)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Seniors are having more sex, and getting more STIs

As our population ages, we as a society are faced with many never-before-encountered dilemmas ... one of which is the drastic increase of STI infections amongst seniors.

We're living longer than ever, and with the advent of sexual enhancement drugs (aka Viagra and its relatives), more seniors are sexually active now than ever before. Combine "more sex" with an overall lack of awareness of STIs and zero risk of pregnancy, and it's not surprising that we're seeing such a substantial increase in STI infections amongst our older citizens.

I think it's great that older people are continuing to enjoy their sexuality. Sex amongst consenting adults is a wonderful thing. But the infections?! Not so wonderful. Rates of chlamydia and syphilis, for example, have nearly tripled among adults aged 45 to 64 in the last 10 years. Yikes!

The following article provides lost of great information about the increase in STIs amongst seniors, and what the experts think. Read on and enlighten yourself!

*Emphasis added by Candice

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Sexual activity and STD rate up among seniors


Published February 2, 2012 on CNN.com

New research published Thursday by the British Medical Journal shows that 80% of 50 to 90 years olds are sexually active.  And with that, cases of sexually transmitted diseases have more than doubled in this age group over the past 10 years.

“You never have to retire from sex,” says clinical psychologist Judy Kuriansky. “But you should always behave as the 20-30 year-olds do. You need to be cautious about it.”

Numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that incidences of syphilis and chlamydia in adults aged 45 to 64 have nearly tripled over the past decade. Cases of Gonorrhea are up as well.

“In general, I would say that older people are really enjoying their sexuality,” says Ian Kerner, sex therapist, CNNHealth.com contributor and founder of GoodInBed.com. “People can be sexual throughout their lives, until the day they die.”

Researchers are quick to point out that there’s a huge lack of data on STDs in older populations. The authors of the BMJ editorial also note that older women are more vulnerable physiologically.  “Post-menopausal changes to the vagina, such as thinning of the mucosa, narrowing and shortening of the vagina, and decreased lubrication leave women more vulnerable to minor genital injuries and microabrasions that facilitate the entry of pathogens,” they write.

With age, as parents teach their kids, comes responsibility. So why are parents exposing themselves to these avoidable risks?
“They just don’t think it can happen to them” says Kuriansky. “STIs (sexually transmitted infections) really started making news in the ’80s and ’90s. The fears and the warnings didn’t hit their generation.” They also didn’t expect to be sexual. “It’s the Jane Fondas of the world and men in their 80s like John Glenn, who divorced his wife and married a younger woman,” she says.*

Kerner is quick to point out that the 50+ age group is one of the fastest-growing demographics for online dating. “They wouldn’t even necessarily classify themselves as older,” he says. “It’s often the second time around for them. They’ve been married, have adult children, and they don’t have the same concerns or the same stressors that other people might face.”
Interestingly, one study found that men aged 40+ who were taking drugs for erectile dysfunction were significantly more likely to be diagnosed with an STD in their first year of usage. However, that same study also found that those same men were significantly more likely to be diagnosed in the year prior to starting the medication. That suggests the drug doesn’t so much alter the risk-taking behavior, but rather facilitates it.*

Older men can be wary of condom use because it can contribute to erectile dysfunction. Women assume since they’re above child-bearing years that condoms are unnecessary.

“Just as we spend a lot of time advising kids to practice safer sex, we need to do the same things for ourselves and our parents,” says Kerner.

And perhaps even our grandparents.

Experts purport more awareness from the media would go a long way. Kuriansky also suggests more questioning and counseling by physicians. “If you’re really going to do something about it,” she says, “you have to be tested for herpes and other viruses. Now, you have to request that. They’re not in routine blood tests. [They] should make it routine.”

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Catholic School Board vs GSAs ...

It's time for the Catholic School Board to crawl out of the long-gone days of the DSM's old school notion of homosexuality (aka homosexuality = mental illness). It's time for them to wake up and realize that sexuality - in all its shapes, sizes, colours and directions, is natural.

WAKE UP!!!



While we're waiting, I want to share this article with you. It's about a formal complaint made by a teacher against a former principal. Frances Jacques was the principal at St. Joseph Catholic high school (Mississauga) last year. The complaint refers to Jacques turning down a request by students to form a Gay-Straight Alliance at their school. After their request was denied, the students fought publicly to form this group.

In fact, if you've been reading my blog for a while, you might recall me writing about this in June of last year: "Catholic students are fighting for Gay-Straight Alliances ..."

Obviously, I'm on the side of the GSA in this case. That said, I want to clarify something: Yes, this complaint has been made against a specific person, however, I don't think that this is a one-person issue by ANY means. This is a school board issue (and beyond that, an issue within the Catholic faith and the Vatican, but I'm not taking that one on). So while I agree with the concept of taking on the school board's stance on banning GSA's, I don't agree with pointing the finger at one specific person. I can only imagine the pressure that Jacques was under, and by reading comments made by St. Joe's students, this has never been a personal issue between Jacques and the students. I repeat, this is a Catholic School Board Issue! (If you need more convincing, read the last sentence of the article, which I've italicized).


You can be sure I'll be following this one closely, and I will keep you posted. In the meantime, read this article from TheStar.com and leave a comment below ...

Emphasis added by myself.

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College asked to investigate Catholic principal who banned gay-straight alliance


By Kristin Rushowy, Education Reporter

Posted on Sunday, January 29, 2012


Ontario’s College of Teachers has been asked to investigate a Catholic principal for professional misconduct after students were banned from starting a gay-straight alliance at their Mississauga high school.

In a formal complaint, teacher Thomas McCue asks that the college look at the alleged “actions or inactions” of Frances Jacques, principal of St. Joseph Catholic high school last year, that could have “put certain groups at increased risk, which is contrary to the code of conduct of members.”

McCue is referring to a group of students led by Leanne Iskander, who asked to form a gay-straight alliance but were turned down. They said the principal instead offered talks with the school’s chaplain or that they join other groups already running at the school.

Even though gay-straight alliances are common in public schools, Catholic boards have not allowed them, given the Vatican’s stance against homosexuality.

Although McCue has named Jacques in the complaint — because she was the front-line official involved — the complaint could have much wider implications for the Catholic system’s approach to such clubs.

As McCue followed media reports on the St. Joseph’s incident, “it all seemed unreal to me,” he said in a telephone interview from the Montreal area, where he now lives with his same-sex partner.

“When I shared it with the staff (at his current school), they thought Ontario was living in the 1960s.”

(The St. Joseph’s teens eventually started a club called “Open Arms,” after Ontario’s Catholic bishops and school trustees bowed to public pressure and allowed groups to address bullying based on sexual orientation.)

Jacques retired at the end of the 2010-11 school year as planned but is still a member of the teachers’ college.

McCue’s complaint also asks the college to examine if Jacques failed to maintain the standards of the profession, because without a gay-straight alliance support group “to address issues of bullying, some students may feel that their emotional well-being was being compromised.”

“In any case, given the recent suicide at an Ottawa Carleton District (board) school as well as a spate of other horrible incidents around North America, it is time that this issue be taken seriously,” he wrote in his complaint.

“There is a book and video entitled It gets Better. The understanding is that once a (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender) student makes it to adulthood, life gets better. This is all fine and good, but it needs to get better now, not in four years.”

The complaint, sent to the college last November, includes several studies showing the importance of safe, supportive social environments for gay and lesbian teens.

“The studies clearly indicate that a ‘diversity club’ is insufficient to properly address the unique issues facing gay and lesbian youth,” McCue wrote.

The college has 120 days to investigate and determine whether to proceed to a disciplinary hearing.

“Our legislation prohibits us from talking about a matter until it reaches the stage of a formal hearing,” said Brian Jamieson of the Ontario College of Teachers. “I cannot confirm or deny whether a complaint has been registered, and we are not allowed to discuss matters under investigation.”

Bruce Campbell, of the Dufferin-Peel Catholic District School Board, said no one at the board was aware of the case and that, regardless, he could not respond “due to the personnel-related nature of such a complaint.”

He contacted Jacques twice on the Star’s behalf; she said she had not been contacted by the college. “She has not been advised of this and did not wish to comment on it,” Campbell also said.

McCue taught in Ottawa public schools before moving to Montreal in 2007. He grew up in Barrie.

“I kind of felt sick to my stomach” after reading that St. Joseph students had been denied, especially after they were brave enough to ask for — and then publicly fight for — a gay-straight alliance at such a young age, he said.

“It’s clear in Ontario College of Teacher regulations that you can’t put students at increased risk,” said McCue, 41.

The question is if this is “conduct unbecoming a member,” he added. “Would most members consider this not to be proper?”

Noa Mendelsohn Aviv, director of the equality program at the Canadian Civil Liberties Association, said her organization has not taken a position on the case because it is not familiar with the college’s disciplinary process.

However, she said she will follow its progress.

“It is one of the many ways people are expressing their concern with the fact that students were not provided with the supports they need,” she said.

“It’s a very interesting take (on the issue).”

The incident at St. Joseph’s highlighted the difficulty facing Catholic schools as the province looked at ways to fight homophobia, something students — in both Catholic and public schools — have said they want.

Since then, the Ontario government has directed schools to allow anti-homophobia clubs if students demand them, although the word “gay” does not have to be in their title.

Just last week, Catholic educators suggested calling such groups “Respecting Difference,” but said the groups could not be activist, protest or discuss sexual attraction or gender identity.

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Comments posted on TheStar.com by St Joe's students ....

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amandaann: you have GOT to be kidding me.... a CATHOLIC school teacher cannot say on record that they console of a gay-straight alliance. they have to speak on the behalf of the school board. clearly this article is BEYOND bias. i went to St. Joes and i have NEVER met a nicer, kinder woman in my life. Francis let us students have the club, she let us feel loved and appreciated. reading this article makes me SICK and disgusted that you would make her look like a monster when she is nothing but an open soul.

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BadWolf07: You're going after the wrong person

I'm a student at St Joes, I was involved in trying to start a gay-straight alliance, and although that I agree she may have done some things that put some students at additional risk, but I don't think it was because she was hateful and intolerant in any way. The banning of gay-straight alliances in Catholic schools is a board-wide, if not province-wide issue. Ms Jacques is a really nice person and the greatest principal we ever had. She felt bad for what she had to do about our GSA (she cried at a meeting once, she was so upset). She was always there to help, and I really don't think she should be pulled out or retirement and punished for something she did out of ignorance or because the board instructed her to.

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    Canadian Diversity Flag       Canadian Diversity Flag       Canadian Diversity Flag

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Professional "pimping" ...

One thing I have learned from working independently in the sexuality field is that networking is absolutely essential. I do it all the time. In fact, I'd say I am shameless when it comes to "pimping myself out" to other professionals and potential contacts.

Prime example: my partner recently sold his iPod off of Kijiji; the purchaser was friendly and told us that he is a high school teacher. I asked what the sex ed programming is like where he works and within seconds had given him both of my business cards and told him a bit about what I do.

Like I said -- shameless.

I've found LinkedIn to be another great source of like-minded contacts. There aren't too many of us (relative to the overall population) -- but we sexuality educators find ways of connecting and sharing info and ideas and I've recently joined a LinkedIn group to do just that.

The BEST networking method I've found so far? Volunteering. Without a doubt. I have met more professionals and made more connections through volunteering than any other way. I think it's because when I'm volunteering for something, I'm engaged and I'm showing just how passionate I am about the cause and about what I do. Now that I've settled into life in Cambridge, I've signed up to volunteer at ACCKWA - The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and Area.  You should check them out!

Anyway, I'd better get back to my shameless self-promotion ... :)

- Candice

Friday, July 15, 2011

New Workshop Offerings

My new Bartimaeus business cards arrived today!  If you haven't already heard, Bartimaeus and I are partnering to offer a variety of sexual health education workshops.  At this point the focus is on serving the sexuality education needs of children and adolescents with developmental disabilities, as well as their caregivers, foster parents and support staff.  You can find more information about these new workshops on the Bartimaeus website.

Let me be clear that I will be continuing to offer a wide variety of workshops, available for both staff training and front line clientele.  If you're interested in more information, please contact me.


I am very excited about this next step in my sexuality education / sex ed work and I will keep you posted on how things progress!




[caption id="attachment_1483" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Candice's Bartimaeus Card"][/caption]

Candice :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Monogamy as the only way?

Monogamy ... a necessary requirement of a healthy relationship, or an unrealistic expectation placed on individuals by our monogamy-centrist society?


Like many of you, I was raised in a society which values monogamy, long-term relationship/marital commitment, and expects sexual exclusivity as the "norm".  Until my early twenties, I had never even heard of an "open relationship".  The first time I met someone who told me they were in an open relationship, I remember thinking this person (and his partner) must be strange.  After all, how could someone claim to be in a relationship but still allow their partner - and be allowed by their partner - to pursue outside relationships as well?  I assumed that being in an exclusive, monogamous relationship was the only way to "be" with someone.  That's what everyone does, right?

Wrong.

Fortunately, I value learning and I try to keep an open mind.  It's not always easy (my first response to non-monogamy wasn't entirely "open-minded"), but learning about and educating others about sexuality means learning about what I'm going to be talking about.  And since much of sexuality takes place in the context of interpersonal relationships, I've often found myself wondering about how those relationships function.  So, being the nerd that I am, I've read books, articles and magazines on the subject; I've talked to people who are in non-monogamous relationships; I've subscribed to and follow a number of blogs on the subject.  And, as I've mentioned in the past, I faithfully read Savage Love every week, listen to Dan's podcasts and try to keep myself informed about the subject in general.  So when the New York Times published a magazine article entitled "Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity", I had to check it out.  (In case you're unsure, Dan is also the founder of The It Gets Better Project).

[caption id="attachment_1477" align="alignright" width="120" caption="Love Outside the Box"][/caption]

The article is seven pages long (as published online), well-written and a great read.  I've taken a few excerpts from the article and included them in this post.  You can read the full article here: "Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity".

"Savage believes monogamy is right for many couples ... We can’t help our urges, and we should not lie to our partners about them ... honesty is the best policy." (Oppenheimer, 2011)

... He does not believe in promiscuity ... And he does not believe that monogamy is wrong for all couples or even for most couples. Rather, he says that a more realistic sexual ethic would prize honesty, a little flexibility and, when necessary, forgiveness over absolute monogamy. And he believes nostalgically, like any good conservative, that we might look to the past for some clues.  (Oppenheimer, 2011)

... “Folks on the verge of making those monogamous commitments,” ... “need to look at the wreckage around them — all those failed monogamous relationships out there (Schwarzenegger, Clinton, Vitter, whoever’s on the cover of US magazine this week) — and have a conversation about what it’ll mean if one or the other partner should cheat. And agree, at the very least, to getting through it, to place a higher value on the relationship itself than on one component of it, sexual exclusivity.” (Oppenheimer, 2011)


... “The point,” he wrote on his blog last year, “is that people — particularly those who value monogamy — need to understand why being monogamous is so much harder than they’ve been led to believe.” (Oppenheimer, 2011)

FYI: By posting this, I want to share with you an alternative perspective that says that relationships are not only about sexual exclusivity, and that there is more to loving relationships than what we've been socially conditioned to believe.  I wish to give you an opportunity to to open your mind to more information.  :) 

Enjoy!

Candice :)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Resources are sexy!

I have been working on building up a great "Resources" page - so be sure to check it out!  For the most part, I have carefully selected resources which I believe to be professional, accurate and informative.

That said, some of the resources - and particularly those under the "Blogs" heading - are personal blogs regarding sex and sexuality.  Please do not view these if you find them to be offensive, inappropriate or otherwise undesirable.  I have selected these blogs because I find them to be interesting, informative or otherwise entertaining.

New to the Resources page is a section entitled "Toys and Pleasure".  At the moment, it is limited to Come as You Are (CAYA), although I will be adding more links over time.

Please send me an email if you have suggestions or resources you think would be a good addition to my directory.  And as always, thanks for your support!

Candice :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Pepsi Refresh!

I've submitted an application for a Pepsi Refresh Grant, and I need you to vote for my idea!

The Pepsi Refresh project asks people like ME to submit their ideas for helping their communities.  I am asking you to vote for me to win $5,000 to offer sex ed to at-risk and street involved youth.

Deliverables:

  • Youth have the knowledge to make informed, healthy sexual decisions

  • Youth have access to accurate sexual health information in a youth-friendly setting

  • Youth are better equipped to negotiate sexual decisions with their partner(s)

  • Youth have increased awareness of STIs, including HIV, and how to avoid them

  • The only such program available to youth in Orillia, Ontario


YOU can vote for me every day between now and February 28.  The top 4 ideas in my category will win $5,000 each.

Please vote for me!  Thank you for your support!

Candice :)