Life, Love and Changes

Well, folks, it’s been a while. Again. If you’ve read my blog regularly in the past, you might be wondering why I seem to have dropped off the planet in the past year. Trust me, some days I wonder the same.

Simply put, life has been busy ... But a “simple” answer just won’t do when you’ve been MIA for a year. So let’s look at what’s been happening, and where things are headed ...

Life: I’ve spent most of the last year working on “figuring out my life”. At some point not too long ago I realized I wasn’t happy with the direction my life was taking. So I moped, stewed and worried for a while. That didn’t help (surprise!), so I decided to take a different approach and try actually doing something about it. I made a few changes to the who, what, where, when and why dynamics of my life.

Guess what? It worked! Life is fantastic and, to be honest, I don’t really know how I could possibly feel happier than I do now. I'm sure I will, because things just get better every day, but I feel so good that I'm not sure how it's even possible ....

Career: Despite my dreams of making a full-time career out of all this sex stuff, that’s simply not realistic at the moment. While I could talk about sex ed for hours on end, I have yet to find someone to pay me large sums of money (or at least a liveable salary!) to talk incessantly about sex ed.

If you know someone who fits the above description, please send them my contact info! In the meantime, however, I’ve been putting a lot of work into building my career as a Child and Youth Worker (CYW). The more experience I gain, the more I feel that I made the right choice in becoming a CYW. It’s a skill set that comes naturally to me (much the way educating others about tough topics like sexuality comes naturally!). 
I enjoy working with children and youth, and I definitely like the challenge that comes with working with people.

Love: Yes, it’s true! I am head over heels, hopelessly in love. Not only that, but the man I’m hopelessly in love with is, without any shred of doubt, my life partner and soulmate. Before I met Paul, I had started to wonder if there was actually such thing as an “ideal partner” out there for me. While I was doing a great job of figuring out what I want, need and expect out of a partner, I wasn’t sure all those things could actually exist in one person. That’s until someone introduced me to Paul: his gaze met mine, and that was it ... we had fallen in love. Every day since has been better than the one before it, and we couldn't be more thrilled or excited about having found one another.

(More on this in a later post!)

Direction: Although love, career and home have all come together to create a great deal of happiness for me, there’s one thing I’m desperately lacking right now: direction for my business. I have so many great ideas -- workshops, lessons, programming -- and many great connections -- but I’m lacking a sense of clear direction as to where all of this is headed. Perhaps a simpler way of putting it would be to say that SexEd Central is experiencing growing pains. A big part of the lack of direction is that I simply don’t have time to “do it all” anymore. Establishing a business, creating curriculum and lessons, blogging regularly and updating content on the website are all time and energy consuming activities, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done AND live the rest of my life.

I would like to grow beyond the sole topic of “sex ed” and into more of a comprehensive, “health-focused” direction. I’ve developed and given workshops on other subjects, and I am sure there’s a way to tie it all together. Mental health, for example, is something that affects all of us but isn’t talked about nearly enough; I’d really like to do something about that.

This has plagued me for months, but there’s no point hiding it anymore. Instead, I’m putting a call out there for other like-minded, health-focused, friendly and outgoing people to reach out and connect with me. I am asking you to share your ideas, feedback, skills and talents with me; let’s collaborate to create something really awesome.

I am seeking people who can help me establish focus and direction for the business. I want to find people who want to get involved in many different ways: writing posts and content; developing workshops; facilitating lessons; establishing community partnerships; branding (establishing a logo and an image), and spreading the word are just a few items on my "to do" list.

If you've read this and are thinking "I could do that!" please let me know. Contact me today and let’s chat about what awesome things we can make happen by working together. This is a great time to get involved in doing something really unique and exciting, with lots of potential for growth and room for creativity.

I’m looking forward to connecting with you.

In the meantime, I'd better get back to that career-establishing stuff. I have to be in Kitchener soon for a physical demands test ... at which point, with any luck, I'll officially be a CYW for another school board. Woo hoo!!

Cheers to a FANTASTIC day!
Candice

It's a Home Education Resource Emporium!

I am SO EXCITED to tell you about this!

Tomorrow I will be part of an awesome event in Kitchener, called It's a Home Education Resource Emporium. At the Schwaben Club, I will be promoting health, development and sexuality education for everyone. AND at 10:30am I will be on stage talking about sex education and what SexEd Central has to offer!

Come on out and meet me in person; find out what's going on in the K-W Home Education community; learn something new and connect with a local vendor or service provider. Bring your kids!

There will be so much to see, do and experience. You can find more information about the event on my Facebook Page.

I can't wait to see you there!!!

More Santorum

I enjoy my daily emails from Upworthy - particularly when they contain entertaining little tidbits such as this one!

Who knew that a simple TV show could trigger such an upheaval?!

Seriously though, I pity those believe Rick Santorum has any knowledge, understanding or authority when it comes to LGBT (aka human rights) issues. The man is so out of touch with reality, it's almost not funny.

You can watch and be entertained here: Upworthy - Rick Santorum Comes Out Of Retirement To Say The Craziest, Most Bigoted Thing I've Ever Heard

Enjoy!

Candice

World Autism Awareness Day

Today is the sixth annual World Autism Awareness Day. Autism organizations around the world are celebrating with many unique awareness-raising and fundraising events, and individuals are showing their support by wearing blue today.

Although SexEd Central is not an autism organization, we're still celebrating World Autism Awareness Day today! After all, people with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Asperger's Syndrome (AS) are sexual beings, just like everyone else. They deserve to be treated with the same respect, equality and fairness as everyone else. Relevant, practical and applicable sexuality education is a huge part of that respect, equality and fairness.

What better day to tell you about the new workshops currently under development! Here's what you can look forward to in the very near future ...

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Workshops for Parents, Caregivers, Foster Parents and Support Staff

This interactive workshop aims to provide parents, caregivers and support staff with the knowledge, comfort and skills they need to effectively support individuals with AS and ASD. Because sexuality is a normal, healthy part of the development of every human being, it's essential that caregivers and support persons have an understanding and awareness of sexuality and sexual behaviour in relation to persons with ASD and AS.


Participants in this workshop will:

• Enhance their knowledge and understanding of sexuality and sexuality education


• Gain an understanding of the unique sexuality education needs of people with AS and ASD


• Develop the skills and comfort necessary to effectively communicate with others about sexuality and sexual behaviour


• Learn practical and effective strategies to understand and respond to inappropriate sexual behaviours

Participants will also be provided with a variety of resource materials to further enhance their knowledge, skills and effectiveness.

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Workshops for Children, Youth and Adults with AS and ASD

Participants in this workshop series will gain both knowledge and practical skills in relation to sexuality and sexual behaviour. Because the learning needs of people with AS and ASD differ from those of the neurotypical population, each lesson and all activities will be tailored to the particular workshop audience. The primary goal of this workshop is to equip participants with the information, motivation and behavioural skills they need to be healthy, happy and safe.

Topics in this workshop series may include:

• Puberty: understanding the whats, whys and how to cope


• Communication


• Love and friendship


• Physiological aspects of sexuality


• Sexual relations and other sexual behaviours


• Emotions


• Contraception and pregnancy prevention


• STIs, HIV and prevention


• Sexual orientation


• Alcohol, drugs and sexuality


• Sexual abuse and inappropriate sexual behaviours


• Sexism and violence in romantic relationships


• Managing emotions, theory of mind and intimacy

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These new workshops are VERY exciting and represent a major step forward in the resources and workshops offered here at SexEd Central! If you would like further information or to set up a consultation, please do not hesitate to contact me (Candice) directly.

Stay tuned in the coming months as we continue to grow!

Candice :)

Happy Monday!

Good morning and HAPPY MONDAY! I don't necessarily look forward to Mondays as a general rule ... but this weekend was so uplifting and this week is so exciting that I can't help but be happy to be alive and well this morning!

On Saturday I participated in the 3rd Annual Highland School Craft & Vendor Fair. It was great to get out there and meet so many fantastic people. In particular, I enjoyed meeting other entrepreneurs and community members with an interest in sexuality education. I am excited to have made many new connections and expanded my network. THANK YOU to everyone who helped make it a great day!

Sunday was equally busy -- Paul and I drove up to Barrie for an Arbonne party at After Glow Laser Spa & Salon. I had a GREAT time and am looking forward to pampering myself at the spa! THANK YOU to Heather, my fellow consultant, as well as Julie for hosting, and all the ladies who attended the party. You all helped make my yesterday a fantastic day!

What are you doing to take advantage of this lovely, spring-like Monday?! I would really like to hear from you! Get out there and enjoy the gift of another day to make a difference in the world.

Have a great week!

Candice :)

Community Connections

Wow, time just keeps racing by!

Tomorrow I'm heading to a Craft & Vendor Fair. I'll be setting up a display table and talking to people about SexEd Central. I am really looking forward to connecting with families in my community. If you're in the area, stop by the Craft & Vendor Fair at Highland School in Cambridge, from 9am-2pm!

Sunday I'm heading to Barrie for an Arbonne Party at After Glow Laser Spa & Salon. The party starts at 1pm. Join us!Learn about Arbonne and our fabulous products, enjoy delicious snacks and enter your name into our fantastic draws!

One lucky winner will walk away with a $25 Arbonne Gift Certificate; another will win a spa package: Manicure, Facial with Microdermabrasion and Wash Cut & Style.

I hope to see you there!

To add to this weekend's excitement, my new logo and business cards are almost ready to be unveiled! Want a sneak peek? This is from my display for tomorrow ... let me know what you think!

Hope to see you in Cambridge or Barrie this weekend!

Candice :)

Love

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've been "writing" this post in my head for several days, unsure of how to word it or what exactly to say. I know what I want to talk about, but sometimes these things don't go exactly as planned. Take this introduction, for example. How do I adequately introduce such a significant and deep topic as love? I will start with a story ...

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to contribute to something he is creating for his partner for Valentine's Day. In order to participate, my contribution required me to consider a seemingly simple question: "What does love mean to me?" At the time, I thought "Oh sure, that will be easy!" However,  the more I thought about it, the more I realized that his question was anything but simple.

For one, there are so many varying opinions on what love is, types of love, purposes or functions of love, definitions of love, and so on, that I didn't really know where to start. In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis divides love into four categories based on four Greek words for love: affection, friendship, eros, and charity.

Another theory, which I distinctly remember learning in university, was developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. Sternberg postulates that there are three components of love, and that these interact with each other to form seven different love experiences (with nonlove being the absence of all three components).

Personally, I really like Sternberg's theory. It incorporates several aspects of what I see as essential to the experience of love. Sternberg acknowledges the wide range of love many of us experience throughout our lives, and his theory also recognizes that there is more to love than simply having feelings for another person.

According to Sternberg, the three components of love are:

[caption id="attachment_3228" align="alignright" width="248"] Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love[/caption]

1) Intimacy: feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness and bondedness

2) Passion: encompasses feelings of limerence (adoration with the intense desire to have your feelings reciprocated) and sexual attraction

3) Commitment: the decision to remain with your partner (short term) as well as shared achievements and plans made together (long term)

As you can see, Sternberg's theory places each component at the vertices of a triangle. Each component interacts with the others, leading to seven different kinds of love experiences. The size of the triangle represents the "amount" of love, while the shape represents the style of love. Both of these tend to vary over the course of a relationship.

"The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other."^[2] Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of these three elements; for example, the relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an adult romantic relationship develops. A relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive than one based on two or three elements. Source: Wikipedia - Triangular Theory of Love

Now that we've established what scholars/writers/psychologists consider "love" to be, what about my contribution to my friend's project? When it came time to share my thoughts on love, I didn't refer to any theories or statements from scholars, writers or other brilliant minds. Instead, I reflected on my own experiences with love - romantic and otherwise. I quickly realized my own definition of love is centered on my understanding of how people connect -- at the level of our basic energy.

For me, real love is an intense and soul-deep connection; it's about understanding, accepting and supporting your loved one(s) for who they truly are and not who someone else wants them to be.

The happy ending to my story is the video below. It wasn't easy, but I finally managed to put into words what had been going through my head every time I thought about the question "what does love mean to me?". I'll leave you with my own thoughts, and I would love to hear your answer to the same question: "What does love mean to you?"



Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day, and more love than you could ever need, today and every day.

- Candice :)