Who's responsible for teaching sex ed?

Whose responsibility is it to teach our young people about sex?  Is it up to parents, who are often uncomfortable and sometimes unprepared to discuss this topic with their kids?  Is it the religious groups, who often exclude those topics with which they do not agree and may only discuss abstinence as the "right" choice?  Is it the responsibility of teachers, many of whom are also uncomfortable discussing sex with young people, and may be lacking enough information to really teach the subject?  Or should we skip sex ed all together and let kids learn from their friends and older siblings, or "figure it out for themselves"?

Sex is a part of life.  It's not something that can be ignored, hidden or avoided.  It's not something shameful and it's certainly not unnatural.  It's the reason we all exist (no storks around here!) and it's the most vital part of our survival as a species.  It is intertwined with many wonderful things ... love, laughter, pleasure, and fun.  It can also be used in negative ways ... manipulation, abuse, assault, victimization.

Sex can also be scary.  STIs are out there, and many of them are on the rise.  Rates of Chlamydia are continuing to rise, especially amongst young people 15-24 years old.  Gonorrhea is rising as well.  And syphilis, which had become very rare in Canada, increased by 62% from 2008 to 2009 (Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit, Public Health Ontario, 2010).

Anyone who engages in any "risky" sexual activity (e.g. unprotected vaginal or anal sex, unprotected oral sex, having multiple partners, sharing toys, etc) is at risk for STIs.  While some STIs are curable, many are not.  Herpes, for example, makes itself comfortable and stays for life.  It can be transmitted even when the person does not have any symptoms, and yes, if you have a cold sore and give your partner oral sex, they can get genital herpes!

Although I cannot speak as a parent, I can speak as an experienced Sexual Health Educator and as a Child and Youth Worker.  I can tell you that, regardless of what kind of sex ed they receive, some young people are going to have sex and others are not.  Handing a young person a condom is no more likely to make them have sex than handing someone $50 is going to make them go to the casino and gamble.  In fact, if the youth are educated - thoroughly, honestly, accurately - they are more likely to choose not to have sex.

Which brings me to my original question - whose responsibility is it to teach our children and youth about sex?  In my opinion, sex ed should be taught by those who are comfortable doing so, and who are prepared to be honest and frank with their audience.  Sexual health educators need to be confident and provide plenty of opportunity for the audience to engage with the information.  I can speak from experience when I say that, when presented with the opportunity to talk openly and ask questions, young people are eager to learn.

Sex ed isn't about telling people what they "should" or "shouldn't" do, or preaching about what's "right" and "wrong".  It's about presenting the information - the factual information - and letting people decide for themselves.  That's what Sex Ed Central is all about.  I talk to people about sex and offer the facts: STIs are out there, pregnancy can happen at any stage in a woman’s cycle, and to be unsure about your sexual orientation does not make you any less of a person.

If you're interested in this topic, check out my other posts, read this article or contact me.

Thanks for reading,

Candice

We Live in a Beautiful World!

Good morning, sunshine!

Last night's workshop was entitled "Sexual Diversity & LGBTQ" and featured a phenomenal guest speaker.  Seventeen youth (biggest turnout yet!), lots of dialogue and plenty of great questions made for a productive and meaningful workshop.  My guest speaker gave the youth an opportunity to listen and talk to someone who has "been there" and I am happy to say that they didn't hesitate to take full advantage of her experience and knowledge.

I opened the discussion with "What do you think of when I say 'sexual diversity'?".  We talked about what different words mean to different people and how easily words can hurt and offend.  We also discussed how difficult it can be to struggle with something so fundamental to who you are as your sexual orientation; my guest speaker talked about her experience with internalized homophobia and the process of accepting herself as someone who did not identify as heterosexual.  I, like many of the youth, felt inspired and awed to talk with someone who has come through so much and, despite everything, is such a compassionate and loving person.

It was absolutely great!

Last night was Week 8 ... only two more sessions left!  This workshop has been phenomenal ... far better than I had ever anticipated!  The feedback from both the youth and the OYC staff has been consistently positive, and I've noticed a major improvement in the willingness of the youth to open up and talk about sex and everything related to it.  What a huge success!

Next week is all about communication ... I-statements, communicating clearly, saying what you mean and being honest with yourself and your partner(s).  I will have another guest co-facilitator.  He is also an amazing individual and someone who I can count on to help me role-model and facilitate discussion with the youth.

Stay tuned!

The controversy continues ...

Well folks, it looks like the Ontario sexual health curriculum won't be changing anytime soon.  After a good deal of public resistance, McGuinty retracted his decision and decided to avoid this battle for the time being.

Largely as a result of all of this uproar, it's been an interesting week to be a sexual health educator!  I've been likened to a pedophile more than once (eek!) and have heard several people exclaim "They want to teach them anal sex in grade three!".  The first of these statements (that I am a pedophile) is more than a little silly so I will skip right to the second.

The second statement, that this curriculum involves teaching anal sex to eight year old children - is absolutely outrageous and completely inaccurate.  For one, the curriculum does not involve "teaching anal sex" to anyone.  It includes teaching about what anal sex is, and the risks associated with it, and about safer sex ... but not until the sixth or seventh grade.  Why, you may wonder, is it even necessary to teach our young people anything about anal sex?  The answer to that is both simple and complex -- because they need to know.  More and more young people are engaging in anal sex, and anal sex is a high risk behaviour.  Furthermore, many young people do not regard anal sex as "real sex" with "real consequences" so they don't take the steps necessary to protect themselves.

In addition, the topics that would be introduced in the third grade are basic and involve teaching about diversity ... "Some families have two mommies or two daddies".  This revision to the curriculum acknowledges the reality that homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, transgendered, queer, two-spirited (and anyone I've missed) people are people too.  These people have families and deserve as much recognition and validation as any other person or family.

I read something on facebook yesterday that I thought sums the situation up in an interesting and rather humerous way:

"So let me get this straight - Larry King is getting his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Jesse James and Tiger Woods are (having sex with) EVERYTHING, yet the idea of same-sex marriage is what is going to destroy the institution of marriage?? REALLY??"

I realize that many of those who have misinterpreted the intentions of the curriculum (see example above) have done so because of the way it has been portrayed in the media.  McGuinty, for one, could have handled things much more delicately than he actually did.  Of course, this kind of sensationalism is great at getting people watching and reading, so the media picked up on the fire and ran with it.  Add in those who are strongly enough opposed to pull their kids out of school and we have quite the interesting scene!

I will be watching to see what happens next.  I have seen the OPHEA guidelines for our sex ed curriculum, and I can speak from experience in saying that they are minimal and insufficient.  There are definitely those out there who feel similarly to me; that it's extremely important to teach kids a comprehensive sex-ed curriculum.  After all, the decisions kids make around sex can impact the rest of their lives.

Curriculum Changes

Given the news today about the McGuinty government introducing new (and much more thorough) sex ed in schools, I felt the need to make this post.

If you haven't already heard, beginning in September children and youth in Ontario are going to start learning more, and at younger ages.  Although this list is by no means complete, some of the changes include:

• use of clear, explicit and accurate language

• introducing proper names for body parts in Grade 1

• discussing "invisible differences" and introducing concepts such as sexual identity and orientation to students in Grade 3

• introducing the topic of puberty in Grade 4 (previously introduced in Grade 5) - reflecting the reality that children and youth are reaching puberty at increasingly younger ages (I know girls who got their periods when they were 9!) ... the discussion is also more accurate and acknowledges changes such as body hair and breast development

• using terminology such as "anal intercourse" and "vaginal lubrication" in Grades 6 & 7

*Warning: opinions ahead*

Needless to say, there are those out there who do not agree with these changes.  Many of the reasons given for this dissonance center around religious values.  For example:

“I think it’s a sort of infringement on parents, because you’re talking about a very personal and sensitive area and dealing with kids so young I believe what it will end up infringing on their thought processes and their desires and ability to make correct choices,” said Reverend Ekron Malcolm, director of the Institute for Canadian Values

What gets me - REALLY gets me - about that quotation is the reference to children's "ability to make correct choices".  Correct according to whom?  For whom?  Says whom?

Statistically speaking ...

Every survey of young Canadians that has been done on this topic indicates that Canadian youth are unequivocal in recognizing the importance of being well informed about sexual health through school-based programs and that they want a wide range of relevant topic areas to be addressed (Byers, et al., 2003a; Byers, et al, 2003b; Cairns, Collins, & Hiebert, 1994; Cregheur, Casey, & Banfield, 1992; HKPR Health Unit, 1999; Lawlor & Purcell, 1988; McKay & Holowaty, 1997; Smith, et al., 2001).

I can speak from experience on this point ... young people want this education, they need this education, and they are more likely to postpone sexual activity when they have this education.

“If anything, young people who are very well educated about sexuality and sexual health tend to actually delay having sex, because they fully understand everything that’s involved, biologically and psychologically,” Alex McKay, research co-ordinator for the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada.

There are parents threatening to pull their children out of school unless this curriculum is abandoned, and I'm happy to say that the government is sticking to its guns on this one.

Looking for more information about this topic?  See my "resources" page, or click on these links:

http://bit.ly/bbMXyT (Globe & Mail news article)

http://bit.ly/bDz4hN ("Youth Want Sexual Health Education)

http://bit.ly/b8liDr (Myths and Misconceptions Regarding Sex Ed)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue!  Email me or leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading,

Candice

This week ... Relationships!

This week's workshop is based on relationships.  Lots of different relationships ... friends, family, peers, teachers, workers, clergy, romantic partners ... you get the picture.

Obviously I'm not going to spend the whole session just talking about types of relationships.  My focus will be on safety within those relationships ... power, what is and is not ok in different kinds of relationships, red flags for unhealthy relationships, sexual assault and domestic violence.

I think that it's important to go beyond the mechanics and technicalities of sex, and talk about the more personal side of things.  Sex doesn't happen in a vacuum (and if it does ... well ... let's chat ...); there are a whole bunch of other factors involved with a person's decision to engage or not engage in sexual activity.  From now until the end of the workshop, it's that kind of stuff that we will be talking about on Wednesday nights!

Which reminds me - this is week 7 already!  Wow!  It's gone by SO FAST, and has been far more successful than I could have asked for.  This is GREAT!

Like what I'm doing?

Like what I'm doing?  Have suggestions?  Want to chat?

You can subscribe to receive email updates whenever I post new content; simply enter your email address in the in the box to the right of any blog post, and click "Subscribe".

You can also share the love (the purple heart icons scattered around the site) ... subscribe to my RSS feeds, follow me on Twitter, or stumble me on StumbleUpon ("I like it" is greatly appreciated!).

Feel free to contact me (using the "contact" page) with any comments, questions, suggestions, ideas etc that you may have!

So far, everything I have done has been AMAZING ... but has also been at my own out-of-very-tight-budget-pocket expense.  If you'd like to support my efforts (and help me buy my OWN sex ed kit!), you can support me.  Every penny will go back into developing the best program I possibly can!

Please spread the word about what I'm doing - tell your friends, family, colleagues, peers, students, and anyone else you think might be interested!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

It's about diversity.

Yesterday I received another box of goodies.  Those of you who are familiar with my apartment are probably groaning and thinking "Oh goodness, where is she going to put more stuff?  I assure you, the office can handle it!

Amongst all the goodies, first on my reading list (which begins next week, after the three assignments, two papers and one test are over!) are two more informational books from Public Health - "Sexual Orientation in Schools" and "Gender Identity in Schools".  As a heterosexual Caucasian female living in a hetero-normative, largely Caucasian society, I have not had to contend with many of the issues facing the diverse youth in our communities.  I feel strongly that it is my responsibility to educate myself as much as I possibly can regarding the experiences of those with whom I cannot directly identify.

Which brings me to my latest venture - an information and resource display at a Student Leadership Conference, all about LGBTQ issues and equality.  I am not yet sure of my particular responsibilities regarding this event, but I can tell you that I am very excited!  I will update when I have more information!

If you're looking for resources such as the ones I've mentioned in this post, visit the CATIE Ordering Centre - have fun!

Let's make this FUN!

Another workshop tonight, complete with guest speaker and warm fuzzies!

[caption id="attachment_215" align="alignleft" width="137" caption="HIV/AIDS Ribbon"][/caption]

This time I started the workshop with the activity, rather than saving it until the end.  I learned pretty quickly that if I ever switch things around like that again, it would be a good idea to plan another activity for the end of the session as well.  Tonight was the first time that I have received requests for more games and activities, and I will be sure to follow through on that!  After all, the activities and games are my favourite part as well!

My guest speaker tonight was Karyn, Manager of Community Services at the AIDS Committee of Simcoe County (ACSC) and one of my placement supervisors.  It was great to have her knowledge and expertise and the youth had plenty of excellent questions.  I am so proud of the progress that the youth have learned so much and have made so much progress.  I think that it was very wise to begin the workshop with the hands-on topics, such as anatomy, contraception and STIs and save the personal stuff for the later weeks.  Next week I am discussing relationships and healthy decision making.  The rest of the workshop is much more person-oriented rather than activity-oriented, although I am always open to any questions that may come up!

As always, thank you for your support!

Did you know ... ?

Did you know that there are multiple strains of the HIV virus, and that a person can become infected with more than one strain?  Until recently, I did not know that.  I, like many, thought that there was one HIV virus and that once you had HIV, that was that.  Another question ... Did you know that the average time between a person contracting HIV and developing AIDS is more than 10 years?  I'd say that is pretty awesome ... HIV no longer has to be the immediate death sentence that has been ingrained into our minds.

As you may have figured out, next week's topic is HIV/AIDS.  I have a guest speaker coming in to assist; she knows a great deal about HIV/AIDS and I think it will be good for the youth to see that there is someone out there who can help them with any HIV/AIDS related questions or issues.  It's part of my goal to provide hands-on information and resources, and sometimes "resources" means offering up the knowledge that "there's someone I can talk to if I ever need to".

One more question ... Did you know that you can subscribe to my website and receive notifications whenever I post new content?  You can do this in a couple of ways:

1) on the "Blog" page, simply enter your email address and click "subscribe"

2) below ANY blog post, click "share the love" and then "subscribe".  This takes you to the RSS feed, which is simply a list of every post I have made on this website.

As well, please "Share the Love" and spread the word about my site!  Your support makes a world of difference with what I'm trying to do!

Thanks,

Candice

A Fine Balance

Teaching sex ed is a balancing act.  You want to be upfront and honest with the youth, and get the information to them.  At the same time, you don't want to come across as using "scare tactics" or being too graphic.  Also, you need to know how much each group can handle.  This is when having a good rapport with your audience really comes in handy.

As a CYW (Child and Youth Worker), one of the central features of my education is developing the skills to establish relationships with young people.  The awesome part about taking all of these classes and practicing these skills in my labs is that it really works! The youth like me and respond well to me, and almost without realizing it, I can build positive relationships with them.  Yet another reason I love the CYW program :).

When it comes to teaching sex ed, you need to keep it practical and relevant.  While it's great that I know that, in Canada, "the overall reported rate of gonorrhea increased by  124.2% between 1998 and 2007" (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2009), what the youth need to know is that more and more people are getting gonorrhea, and most of them are between 15 and 24 years old - and this means that they are at high risk for contracting gonorrhea.  It's not enough to spew information and statistics at them and expect that they will absorb it all because you're such a great speaker and it's important information.  Bite-sized chunks, clear language, repetition, and fun are all necessary to making your lesson a success.

On that note, it's time for me to get back to next week's lesson!

Thanks for reading,

Candice

STIs, anyone?

This week's session: An Intro to Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)

Oh the joys of STIs ... you may think I'm strange, but I really enjoy talking about STIs.  Well, I enjoy talking about pretty much ANYTHING related to sexuality or sexual health, but STIs are just plain fun!  They're icky, nasty, and just plain yuck and yet they are completely avoidable and preventable!

And that, my friends, is what I like about them.  I like being able to tell a young person that they can take control and they can protect themselves from this icky nastiness.

Now before I get too far, I want to clear something up:  In no way, shape or form am I putting down anyone who has ever contracted an STI; nor am I making any sort of statement or judgement regarding having STIs.  My emphasis is on the fact that, from a harm reduction standpoint, STIs are a way to give a visual and descriptive (and hopefully, ickifying) reminder of a person's ability to take steps to protect him/herself.

I'm not going to get into the facts and figures in this post ... my blog is just that - a blog - and I'll save the statistics for another page (more content coming soon!  keep checking!).  I am, however, going to tell you that this week's session was AWESOME, that I had 14 youth (yay!!), and that I know that some of them are already excited about next week!  So I am thrilled and, of course, very excited (are you surprised?).

I learned something very important this week: it's a good idea to have several "levels of difficulty" with the jeopardy-like questions I use in my activities ... cuz these youth were way too smart for the ones I had made up!  Time to take it up a notch!

Questions?  Email me!  Comments?  Write one here, or email me!  There's now a "contact" page and you can use that to send me an email, OR write to candice@sexedcentral.com

I can't wait to hear from you!!!

Candice :)

p.s. Don't forget to "Share the Love" below!!!