Thank you, FruitTaster, for leaving the following comment on my most recent blog post: Monogamish Week! This comment is so insightful and interesting that I wanted to share it with you. And once you've read this comment, make sure you read more of FruitTaster's blog; it makes for excellent reading!
*Note: Emphasis added by me*
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I don't mean to throw the ball back at you, but what you wrote triggered a thought.
It's that I find particularly interesting the view that, in the event of one partner being caught cheating in a monogamous relationship, that the result should automatically be a split.
There is such an importance put on monogamy that we are willing to throw away everything if it is not respected. There are without a doubt times when this is the right course of action. However it happens so often that you have to wonder why people don't just start off with the assumption that it might occur, or at least that the thought or desire of getting involved with others during the course of a very long term relationship will eventually be felt, if not acted on.
The point is, why not be proactive about it and have an intelligent discussion considering ways to deal with it, either when it will happen, or before it happens. A non-monogamous or open relationship is kind of an umbrella term that encompasses really everything other than monogamy. It's too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you're not monogamous, then you're up for grabs and you're just careless and promiscuous. There are a lot of variations possible between the two extremes.
I like to think of it as being a relationship designer. We spend so much time personalizing our clothes and our hair and our homes and everything that surrounds us. Maybe we should consider that we can also design our relationship. Forgeting the monogamy vs non-monogamy terms, which may be too polarized for many people, I think it's accessible to everyone to just ask themselves, if I could design the perfect, bullet-proof relationship for me, what would that be?
The interest I have in Dan publishing the letters he's received, is to demonstrate the breath of arrangements that are possible, and to realize we can apply our imagination and our creativity to the problem of how to make our relationships more successful.
You can have your blog back now. :)
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Showing posts with label open relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label open relationships. Show all posts
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Monogamish Week!
You've probably gathered that I'm currently quite interested in the topic of monogamy, and more specifically, monogamish. This is partly due to the fact that Dan Savage is having a monogamish week with the Savage Love Letter of the Day app (which I read every day), as well as the weekly Savage Love column (which I read every Wednesday ... or Tuesday if it's posted early :)).
It's also partly because I think that close, intimate, interpersonal relationships are a really interesting topic. I enjoy
learning about, reading about, thinking about and writing about relationships.
Just think about it for a few moments:
We humans are typically creatures of habit; we go along with what we're used to, stick to what feels comfortable, and generally expect others to do the same.
Yet relationships themselves are such dynamic, ever-evolving entities. Heck, we humans are ever-evolving ... we find new interests and hobbies, make new friends, develop new habits ... you get the picture.
So what do we do when we or our partner wants/needs/wishes for the relationship to change?
Say, for example, you have a married/common-law/committed couple (of any orientation) who have a house and three kids. Something happens and, for one reason or another, one partner loses interest in (or becomes unable or unwilling to have) sex. The other partner, however, has a high libido and enjoys having sex several times a week (i.e. sex is a necessary aspect of this person's life). Aside from this particular issue, the couple has a good relationship and a solid partnership. They're in love with each other, they are great parents and their kids are happy and doing as well as kids can be expected to do.
What do they do?
Split up - traumatize the kids, lose the support of each other, divide up the family and call it quits on the love and happiness they've enjoyed together?
I sometimes wonder if we, as a society, are so focused on monogamy and sexual exclusivity -- (examples: "OMG, he cheated on her!" "Did you hear? They're swingers!" "If I have feelings for/am attracted to him/her/them then I must not be happy in my relationship/there must be something wrong with me/I don't love my partner") -- that we lose sight of all the other parts - good, important parts - that make up a relationship.
Anyway, that was the long journey to the points I want to make:
1. This post was inspired by an interesting post by FruitTaster. An excerpt I particularly enjoyed:
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"We tend to assume an open relationship is about sex, and maybe affection, or love even. Not about laundry, cooking, and bills. However, countless marriages have come to an end because of differences over laundry, cooking and bills, so they are certainly part of the crucial elements in a relationship."
Source: Fruits of Libido Blog, written by FruitTaster
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2. Relationships, like people, are special and unique. I believe that we should be able to make them what we want them to be, not what others expect them to be.
3. Now that I think about it, I've never been very good at conforming to the little boxes we are pegged into. Maybe that has something to do with my interest in getting others to think outside of the little boxes as well.
Introspection for another day ...
Thanks for reading!
Candice :)
It's also partly because I think that close, intimate, interpersonal relationships are a really interesting topic. I enjoy
learning about, reading about, thinking about and writing about relationships.Just think about it for a few moments:
We humans are typically creatures of habit; we go along with what we're used to, stick to what feels comfortable, and generally expect others to do the same.
Yet relationships themselves are such dynamic, ever-evolving entities. Heck, we humans are ever-evolving ... we find new interests and hobbies, make new friends, develop new habits ... you get the picture.
So what do we do when we or our partner wants/needs/wishes for the relationship to change?
Say, for example, you have a married/common-law/committed couple (of any orientation) who have a house and three kids. Something happens and, for one reason or another, one partner loses interest in (or becomes unable or unwilling to have) sex. The other partner, however, has a high libido and enjoys having sex several times a week (i.e. sex is a necessary aspect of this person's life). Aside from this particular issue, the couple has a good relationship and a solid partnership. They're in love with each other, they are great parents and their kids are happy and doing as well as kids can be expected to do.
What do they do?
Split up - traumatize the kids, lose the support of each other, divide up the family and call it quits on the love and happiness they've enjoyed together?
I sometimes wonder if we, as a society, are so focused on monogamy and sexual exclusivity -- (examples: "OMG, he cheated on her!" "Did you hear? They're swingers!" "If I have feelings for/am attracted to him/her/them then I must not be happy in my relationship/there must be something wrong with me/I don't love my partner") -- that we lose sight of all the other parts - good, important parts - that make up a relationship.Anyway, that was the long journey to the points I want to make:
1. This post was inspired by an interesting post by FruitTaster. An excerpt I particularly enjoyed:
[box]
"We tend to assume an open relationship is about sex, and maybe affection, or love even. Not about laundry, cooking, and bills. However, countless marriages have come to an end because of differences over laundry, cooking and bills, so they are certainly part of the crucial elements in a relationship."
Source: Fruits of Libido Blog, written by FruitTaster
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2. Relationships, like people, are special and unique. I believe that we should be able to make them what we want them to be, not what others expect them to be.
3. Now that I think about it, I've never been very good at conforming to the little boxes we are pegged into. Maybe that has something to do with my interest in getting others to think outside of the little boxes as well.
Introspection for another day ...
Thanks for reading!
Candice :)
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Savage Says - The Monogamish Closet
Nonmongamy - aka monogamish in Dan Savage lingo - is something I've mentioned a few times. This letter was recently posted as the "Letter of the Day" on the Savage Love iPhone app, and it fits nicely with the whole sex-positive vibe we've got going on here at Sex Ed Central.
Below the letter you will find the initial call-out posted by Dan on Savage Love.
Enjoy!
My husband and I are the pillars of society; we both work and pay taxes, we have two lovely children, we are an active part of our church community, I brought my kids to sing carols for charity this week and we host the rest of the family for Christmas. According to many of our friends, we are unusually happily married.But we are not monogamous.
At the moment I have two more-or-less regular lovers; one a friend I sometimes sleep with, the other a sexy model who picked me up at the gym. Most of our friends and family would be absolutely horrified if they found out. It has brought us closer, we laugh more, we communicate better, appreciate each other more and have more and better sex with each other than we did before. We have also (surprisingly) made friends with our lovers, something we didn't expect.
It feels like having taken Morpheus' blue pill in the Matrix or having seen how the world REALLY works but not being able to talk openly about it. If others knew how unnecessary and oppressive the current "monogamy is the only way if you love someone" mantra is, the world would be a better place. I accept other people's choices and understand that my way of living and loving doesn't work for everyone, but I wish that I could be more open without risking my career and some close personal relationships. I hope that some time in the future, a non-monogamous lifestyle will be more accepted, and I certainly hope our kids will grow up in a world with fewer hang-ups with regards to sex. But for now, we're in the closet.
Friends And Lovers And Spouses
Yes, yes: Every couple you know who's ever had a three-way or okayed a fling wound up divorced. And that may be true—of the couples whose three-ways and flings you know about. You know lots of couples who've had three-ways and flings who aren't divorced, but you don't know you know them. Most married couples want to be perceived as monogamous even—especially!—when they're not. So your friends who aren't divorcing as the result of a disastrous fling, affair, swinging experience, three-way, etc., aren't going to tell you about all the successful flings, affairs, etc., they've enjoyed.... ARE YOU MARRIED? Have you had successful flings, affairs, swinging experiences, and three-ways that your friends and family members will never know about? Send me an e-mail, share your story, and I'll publish it.
Married and monogamish and not out? Share your story - mail@savagelove.net.
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Below the letter you will find the initial call-out posted by Dan on Savage Love.
Enjoy!
The Monogamish Closet
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My husband and I are the pillars of society; we both work and pay taxes, we have two lovely children, we are an active part of our church community, I brought my kids to sing carols for charity this week and we host the rest of the family for Christmas. According to many of our friends, we are unusually happily married.But we are not monogamous.
At the moment I have two more-or-less regular lovers; one a friend I sometimes sleep with, the other a sexy model who picked me up at the gym. Most of our friends and family would be absolutely horrified if they found out. It has brought us closer, we laugh more, we communicate better, appreciate each other more and have more and better sex with each other than we did before. We have also (surprisingly) made friends with our lovers, something we didn't expect.
It feels like having taken Morpheus' blue pill in the Matrix or having seen how the world REALLY works but not being able to talk openly about it. If others knew how unnecessary and oppressive the current "monogamy is the only way if you love someone" mantra is, the world would be a better place. I accept other people's choices and understand that my way of living and loving doesn't work for everyone, but I wish that I could be more open without risking my career and some close personal relationships. I hope that some time in the future, a non-monogamous lifestyle will be more accepted, and I certainly hope our kids will grow up in a world with fewer hang-ups with regards to sex. But for now, we're in the closet.
Friends And Lovers And Spouses
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Dan's Message ...
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Wondering why today's letter-of-the-day isn't a question? FALAS's letter comes in response to a call in this week's "Savage Love":
Yes, yes: Every couple you know who's ever had a three-way or okayed a fling wound up divorced. And that may be true—of the couples whose three-ways and flings you know about. You know lots of couples who've had three-ways and flings who aren't divorced, but you don't know you know them. Most married couples want to be perceived as monogamous even—especially!—when they're not. So your friends who aren't divorcing as the result of a disastrous fling, affair, swinging experience, three-way, etc., aren't going to tell you about all the successful flings, affairs, etc., they've enjoyed.... ARE YOU MARRIED? Have you had successful flings, affairs, swinging experiences, and three-ways that your friends and family members will never know about? Send me an e-mail, share your story, and I'll publish it.
Married and monogamish and not out? Share your story - mail@savagelove.net.
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Thursday, September 1, 2011
Threesome anyone?
I've said before - I am an avid Savage Love reader; I read the column every Wednesday and I peruse the Savage Love Letter of the Day app on my iPhone on a near-daily basis. Today I came across this letter, which fits in nicely with some of the other posts I've made about nonmonogamy and open relationships.
Disclaimer: I didn't write any of this -- it's entirely copied and pasted from the original Savage Love letter. The first box is the initial letter to Dan, and the second is Dan's response. Enjoy!
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A Successful Threesome
I am a straight woman who has been in a monogamous relationship with the same man for almost five years. He's absolutely gorgeous, and he's British, and he makes a decent living, so I've always known he wouldn't have trouble attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex, for that matter!). I, on the other hand, while admittedly pretty, am not exactly a knockout like he is. It's taken some work to get over my insecurities about that, but I've long been confident that he's really into me, so now that's a non-issue.
Three months ago my boyfriend confessed that he wanted to have a FFM threesome. At first I was horrified at the idea. He wanted to fuck other women. He wanted to act on the impulse to fuck other women. What if he wanted someone prettier than me? What if she was better in bed than me? How could be have a functioning relationship if we had sex with another person? Wouldn't it demean our own sexual relations, become a black cloud hanging over the rest of our relationship?
Then I took a deep breath and remembered your column. I remembered what you had to say about men and women and desires and your own experiences with threesomes. I came to realize two more things.
First of all, if he wanted to fuck other women, he could have done that and not told me; he had come to me to tell me that while he wanted to fuck another woman, he wanted to fuck another woman with me. If we worked hard to be honest about our feelings and communicate our needs and insecurities, this could turn into a another thing that we did together. In fact, if we focused on communication, honesty, and trust having a threesome could possibly strengthen our relationship.
Second of all, I realized that even if this wasn't my favorite fantasy—or even a fantasy of mine at all—I could still make my pleasure a priority. I consider myself to be straight (as in I'd never wanted to have sex with a woman before and probably could never sustain a romantic relationship with another woman) but lesbian porn (well done lesbian porn) could get me off. If my boyfriend wanted to have sex with another woman, and wanted me to be there, then I could use this as an opportunity to try something intriguing and new. This didn't need to be just about him having sex with another woman—it could be about both of us having sex with another woman.
So I agreed to a threesome with some ground rules. I wanted us to find a woman to have sex with together. I wanted her to be bisexual; I didn't want to have a threesome with another straight girl, and I wasn't sure if a lesbian would have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to be a part of the threesome at all times, which meant that we had to discuss what would happen if he and she began to do something (coming up with ideas beforehand was incredibly helpful). Most of all, I did not want my boyfriend to have penetrative sex with the woman—no vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Plus, I wanted us to be open to having a MMF threesome sometime down the road. Setting these boundaries help me feel as if I had control of the situation; my boyfriend's agreement to comply with my ground rules proved to me how much he loved me and wanted me to.
We decided, pretty quickly, to hire a woman to have a threesome with us. After a little bit of searching we found—and agreed upon—a local bisexual escort. She was quite lovely, and she advertised that she had experience with threesomes, so I felt like she'd focus on both of us, and not just him, which was my biggest fear.
We rented a lovely room at a posh hotel. We made reservations for the two of us to have dinner after the threesome—we gave the threesome a time period of about three hours. And then the day came, the woman arrived at our hotel room, and my boyfriend and I had a wonderful time together. We staid attentive to each others needs, the escort did a good job of showing interest in both of us, and the sex was great. Now we've agreed to make this a yearly tradition for us, possibly with the same woman.
Better yet, this whole experience strengthened our relationship. We're now closer than ever, and the memory of the threesome is not some black cloud hanging over us every time we kiss or hug or have sex. In fact, remembering the threesome together gets us both pretty hot, and before we know it we're having more fantastic sex.
I decided to write you this ridiculously long email (which I have no idea if you'll even read, I know you get a lot) because, if I didn't read your column, and if I had never heard your humorous, matter-of-fact sex advice, I wouldn't have been able to have a threesome with my boyfriend. (On another note: I'd probably still feel like a freak for being a woman who loves watching porn, both alone and with her boyfriend.) Your column and your writing helped give me the smarts and the confidence to be (and enjoy being) a GGG girlfriend. I can't put into words how thankful I am that I began reading your column several years ago, or how thankful I am that you take the time and effort to write your column, because it (and you) help so many people become better, happier versions of themselves. I am so happy in my relationship with my boyfriend right now, Dan, and while it's largely thanks to us I know your column has played a part in bettering our relationship too.
Sincerely,
Grateful Gushing Girlfriend
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Thanks for sharing, GGG, and congratulations. It sounds like you two did absolutely everything right: you hashed out all the details, you set ground rules advance, and you hired a pro instead of waiting years for an unattached bi girl/unicorn to come along. I'm posting your entire letter to the blog, long though it is, because people rarely hear from committed couples who've had successful FFM MMF threesomes. Lots of people are convinced that threesomes destroy relationships because the only threesomes they ever hear about are the disasters, i.e. the ones that came immediately before a breakup, threesomes that are rightly or wrongly blamed for a breakup that was probably coming anyway. And since most people in stable relationships want to be perceived as monogamous even when they're not, people aren't generally aware of all the threesomes their presumed-to-be-monogamous friends have had.
Thanks again for sharing.
originally posted on 16 MARCH, 2010
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Disclaimer: I didn't write any of this -- it's entirely copied and pasted from the original Savage Love letter. The first box is the initial letter to Dan, and the second is Dan's response. Enjoy!
[box]
A Successful Threesome
I am a straight woman who has been in a monogamous relationship with the same man for almost five years. He's absolutely gorgeous, and he's British, and he makes a decent living, so I've always known he wouldn't have trouble attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex, for that matter!). I, on the other hand, while admittedly pretty, am not exactly a knockout like he is. It's taken some work to get over my insecurities about that, but I've long been confident that he's really into me, so now that's a non-issue.
Three months ago my boyfriend confessed that he wanted to have a FFM threesome. At first I was horrified at the idea. He wanted to fuck other women. He wanted to act on the impulse to fuck other women. What if he wanted someone prettier than me? What if she was better in bed than me? How could be have a functioning relationship if we had sex with another person? Wouldn't it demean our own sexual relations, become a black cloud hanging over the rest of our relationship?
Then I took a deep breath and remembered your column. I remembered what you had to say about men and women and desires and your own experiences with threesomes. I came to realize two more things.
First of all, if he wanted to fuck other women, he could have done that and not told me; he had come to me to tell me that while he wanted to fuck another woman, he wanted to fuck another woman with me. If we worked hard to be honest about our feelings and communicate our needs and insecurities, this could turn into a another thing that we did together. In fact, if we focused on communication, honesty, and trust having a threesome could possibly strengthen our relationship.
Second of all, I realized that even if this wasn't my favorite fantasy—or even a fantasy of mine at all—I could still make my pleasure a priority. I consider myself to be straight (as in I'd never wanted to have sex with a woman before and probably could never sustain a romantic relationship with another woman) but lesbian porn (well done lesbian porn) could get me off. If my boyfriend wanted to have sex with another woman, and wanted me to be there, then I could use this as an opportunity to try something intriguing and new. This didn't need to be just about him having sex with another woman—it could be about both of us having sex with another woman.
So I agreed to a threesome with some ground rules. I wanted us to find a woman to have sex with together. I wanted her to be bisexual; I didn't want to have a threesome with another straight girl, and I wasn't sure if a lesbian would have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to be a part of the threesome at all times, which meant that we had to discuss what would happen if he and she began to do something (coming up with ideas beforehand was incredibly helpful). Most of all, I did not want my boyfriend to have penetrative sex with the woman—no vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Plus, I wanted us to be open to having a MMF threesome sometime down the road. Setting these boundaries help me feel as if I had control of the situation; my boyfriend's agreement to comply with my ground rules proved to me how much he loved me and wanted me to.
We decided, pretty quickly, to hire a woman to have a threesome with us. After a little bit of searching we found—and agreed upon—a local bisexual escort. She was quite lovely, and she advertised that she had experience with threesomes, so I felt like she'd focus on both of us, and not just him, which was my biggest fear.
We rented a lovely room at a posh hotel. We made reservations for the two of us to have dinner after the threesome—we gave the threesome a time period of about three hours. And then the day came, the woman arrived at our hotel room, and my boyfriend and I had a wonderful time together. We staid attentive to each others needs, the escort did a good job of showing interest in both of us, and the sex was great. Now we've agreed to make this a yearly tradition for us, possibly with the same woman.
Better yet, this whole experience strengthened our relationship. We're now closer than ever, and the memory of the threesome is not some black cloud hanging over us every time we kiss or hug or have sex. In fact, remembering the threesome together gets us both pretty hot, and before we know it we're having more fantastic sex.
I decided to write you this ridiculously long email (which I have no idea if you'll even read, I know you get a lot) because, if I didn't read your column, and if I had never heard your humorous, matter-of-fact sex advice, I wouldn't have been able to have a threesome with my boyfriend. (On another note: I'd probably still feel like a freak for being a woman who loves watching porn, both alone and with her boyfriend.) Your column and your writing helped give me the smarts and the confidence to be (and enjoy being) a GGG girlfriend. I can't put into words how thankful I am that I began reading your column several years ago, or how thankful I am that you take the time and effort to write your column, because it (and you) help so many people become better, happier versions of themselves. I am so happy in my relationship with my boyfriend right now, Dan, and while it's largely thanks to us I know your column has played a part in bettering our relationship too.
Sincerely,
Grateful Gushing Girlfriend
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Thanks for sharing, GGG, and congratulations. It sounds like you two did absolutely everything right: you hashed out all the details, you set ground rules advance, and you hired a pro instead of waiting years for an unattached bi girl/unicorn to come along. I'm posting your entire letter to the blog, long though it is, because people rarely hear from committed couples who've had successful FFM MMF threesomes. Lots of people are convinced that threesomes destroy relationships because the only threesomes they ever hear about are the disasters, i.e. the ones that came immediately before a breakup, threesomes that are rightly or wrongly blamed for a breakup that was probably coming anyway. And since most people in stable relationships want to be perceived as monogamous even when they're not, people aren't generally aware of all the threesomes their presumed-to-be-monogamous friends have had.
Thanks again for sharing.
originally posted on 16 MARCH, 2010
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Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monogamy as the only way?
Monogamy ... a necessary requirement of a healthy relationship, or an unrealistic expectation placed on individuals by our monogamy-centrist society?
Like many of you, I was raised in a society which values monogamy, long-term relationship/marital commitment, and expects sexual exclusivity as the "norm". Until my early twenties, I had never even heard of an "open relationship". The first time I met someone who told me they were in an open relationship, I remember thinking this person (and his partner) must be strange. After all, how could someone claim to be in a relationship but still allow their partner - and be allowed by their partner - to pursue outside relationships as well? I assumed that being in an exclusive, monogamous relationship was the only way to "be" with someone. That's what everyone does, right?
Wrong.
Fortunately, I value learning and I try to keep an open mind. It's not always easy (my first response to non-monogamy wasn't entirely "open-minded"), but learning about and educating others about sexuality means learning about what I'm going to be talking about. And since much of sexuality takes place in the context of interpersonal relationships, I've often found myself wondering about how those relationships function. So, being the nerd that I am, I've read books, articles and magazines on the subject; I've talked to people who are in non-monogamous relationships; I've subscribed to and follow a number of blogs on the subject. And, as I've mentioned in the past, I faithfully read Savage Love every week, listen to Dan's podcasts and try to keep myself informed about the subject in general. So when the New York Times published a magazine article entitled "Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity", I had to check it out. (In case you're unsure, Dan is also the founder of The It Gets Better Project).
[caption id="attachment_1477" align="alignright" width="120" caption="Love Outside the Box"]
[/caption]The article is seven pages long (as published online), well-written and a great read. I've taken a few excerpts from the article and included them in this post. You can read the full article here: "Dan Savage on the Virtues of Infidelity".
"Savage believes monogamy is right for many couples ... We can’t help our urges, and we should not lie to our partners about them ... honesty is the best policy." (Oppenheimer, 2011)
... He does not believe in promiscuity ... And he does not believe that monogamy is wrong for all couples or even for most couples. Rather, he says that a more realistic sexual ethic would prize honesty, a little flexibility and, when necessary, forgiveness over absolute monogamy. And he believes nostalgically, like any good conservative, that we might look to the past for some clues. (Oppenheimer, 2011)
... “Folks on the verge of making those monogamous commitments,” ... “need to look at the wreckage around them — all those failed monogamous relationships out there (Schwarzenegger, Clinton, Vitter, whoever’s on the cover of US magazine this week) — and have a conversation about what it’ll mean if one or the other partner should cheat. And agree, at the very least, to getting through it, to place a higher value on the relationship itself than on one component of it, sexual exclusivity.” (Oppenheimer, 2011)
... “The point,” he wrote on his blog last year, “is that people — particularly those who value monogamy — need to understand why being monogamous is so much harder than they’ve been led to believe.” (Oppenheimer, 2011)
FYI: By posting this, I want to share with you an alternative perspective that says that relationships are not only about sexual exclusivity, and that there is more to loving relationships than what we've been socially conditioned to believe. I wish to give you an opportunity to to open your mind to more information. :)
Enjoy!
Candice :)
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Featuring Dan Savage ...
I have spoken briefly about Dan Savage in previous posts, but this post is entirely dedicated to this week's Savage Love column. As someone who advocates for an open an honest dialogue around sexuality, I'm all for exploring what does and doesn't make a relationship work. This includes talking about the idea of having a committed, nonmonogamous relationship (sometimes referred to as an "open relationship").
I've had this discussion with others before, and I'm sure it will come up again. I believe that it is entirely possible to have a satisfying, loving, committed relationship without requiring sexual exclusivity.
I'm going to leave that one hang for a bit, and refer you to this week's Savage Love. I'm warning you now, he uses language that would not be rated PG13. As well, I cannot be held responsible for any offense taken from what is said in any of Dan's columns.
Savage Love: I want my MTV
Enjoy!
Candice :)
I've had this discussion with others before, and I'm sure it will come up again. I believe that it is entirely possible to have a satisfying, loving, committed relationship without requiring sexual exclusivity.
I'm going to leave that one hang for a bit, and refer you to this week's Savage Love. I'm warning you now, he uses language that would not be rated PG13. As well, I cannot be held responsible for any offense taken from what is said in any of Dan's columns.
Savage Love: I want my MTV
Enjoy!
Candice :)
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